My Halloween cuties!

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Macy at 9 months

I'm not going to spend time on the fact that I've been ridiculous about blogging...nope, not gonna talk about it.

This post is to talk about Macy-girl. Because that is what we call her. Macy-girl. She is 9 months old. We haven't even videoed her crawling yet so it hit me that I better start writing. So here is the run down on our 9 month old:

--She still has no teeth. But JUST LIKE HER BROTHER, NOAH, it seems she is about to get her two front teeth as her first teeth. :) So funny, so cute, slightly odd.

--She started crawling backwards several weeks ago. Then about 10 days ago she started occasionally going forward. As of 6 days ago, she is officially crawling.....everywhere.....QUICKLY.
She is so happy to be able to move toward whatever she wants and grab it, climb it, hold it, bite it, etc. She is pulling up on anything she can and standing with much confidence. She got her first head bump/bruise tonight and I am reluctant to say that this is the beginning of many.

--Macy is a happy girl. She loves to laugh and cackle. She is happy in her crib, happy in her car seat, really happy outside. People always make the comment "Does she EVER stop smiling?" Obviously this is a huge blessing. She is her brothers biggest fan. They keep her entertained quite a bit.

--Books are becoming one of her favorite things. It makes me laugh out loud when I tell her we are "All done" in a cheery voice and wave my hands in the sign and she starts puckering up that lip and crying. I know. Maybe that is mean that I laugh, but she is so freakin' cute!

--Food. Hmm. Not sure how to summarize. She doesn't really looooove food. Maybe she isn't my child? :) She isn't picky. She eats pretty much anything I give her. But she is not excited about eating. Whether I stopped feeding her after 2 bites or 20, I don't think she would care. Should be interesting how this plays out over time.

--Sleeping. Ahhhhh, I suppose I need to touch on this for documentation purposes. I would categorize her as an "average" sleeper. She takes 2 naps a day....doesn't fight it. They aren't typically long....sometimes I get lucky. She still isn't sleeping thru the night (play the violin music) and I basically never know when she's gonna wake up or how many times. I only feed her once a night and it is getting later and later....usually the 4 o'clock hour. I know this phase won't last but truthfully I didn't expect her to be this way. Our others were sleeping thru the night by now, so I'm a bit of a rookie in this area.

--Bottom line, we are in love with this precious princess. She is super snuggly, loves to hug tightly, and we're working on kisses. :)

Not always peachy

Today comes to a close after no husband, a kid with pink eye, a somewhat fussy baby, rain outside, and no friends around due to a contagious boy and Spring Break. I pause and wonder if I should continue typing since Macy is screaming her bloody neck off. Hmmmm....will go check on her. Ok, I think I got her down. She has the classic Spicer baby genes with regard to screaming herself to sleep at night. Occasionally she'll go down easy, not enough to fool us into thinking she is "different" from her brothers. :/

The last couple weeks, I've had the reoccurring thought that having 3 kids is hard. This may seem like a silly and somewhat obvious statement. However, I have this innate quality that always wants to seem relaxed and in control. I don't get into drama and I always think there is something worse that could be my reality so I shouldn't believe that this moment is hard, terrible, etc. I suppose I have a problem with feeling like it is ok to complain in a serious nature. And then I remember some words that were either from Biggest Loser or my therapist (ha ha ha) that feelings are just feelings; they are not right or wrong. So I can feel like life is hard right now and I don't need to judge it against someone else's life or defend it. I can feel what I feel, and accept that. I suppose it boils down to pride why I hate appearing frazzled. I can feel frazzled, I just don't want to show that. :) make sense?

Anyway, today was a day where I longed for help. I wanted a sister's house to run to, a mom's reassuring smile, an aunt's arms to hold my baby, a friend to make me laugh....you get the idea. Was my day TERRIBLE? No. I've had many worse days actually. But it wasn't fun. It was lonely, and I felt a little stuck. I felt bad for my boys. I am sure they didn't think much of it which is good, but I was ready for one of them to say at any moment, "this day is boring and sad, Mom". I even tried to have a moment where we talked about Japan and what happened there, being thankful, drawing pictures, praying, etc.....I'm glad we did it, but it didn't help how I felt. We cleaned out the playroom and packaged up 3 trash bags of toys and books to give away. Again, I'm glad we did it, it made me feel like I made something of this day, but it still didn't redeem the day.

Now I'm talking to my dad on the phone. Talked to my mother in law earlier. Texted with Brian. Once again, trying to feel not so lonely. :) Talking to my mom always makes me feel better. And it's not because she has advice or even reassures me. It's just hearing her pretty voice and feeling a lighter side to the concern that I feel. Tonight she and my dad were cracking me up because they shed some light on why I have kind of a no nonsense approach to dealing with sick/hurt kids. I guess my oldest sister was a drama queen and constantly was "hurt" so they were pretty desensitized by the time I rolled around. I told them I don't remember hardly ever receiving much pity from them and now I know why. That mirrors the fact that Macy screaming her neck off doesn't get to me NEAR as much as it did with Noah. God gave me 3 screamers---I can't do much about it. Just wait for it to pass I guess.....:)

Alright, not sure where this post is going. Simply wanting to type about today. 3 kids has it's challenges for sure. I'm not cut out to be a single parent. I wish Bri didn't travel, I wish we lived closer to family, I wish....................... BUT I have an amazing life with a gorgeous family, a wonderful home and incredible friends that God has blessed me with. In the wake of all that has happened in Japan, I cannot dwell on any momentary inconvenience. I simply cannot imagine what life is like for thousands of precious Japanese people right now. Devastating doesn't scratch the surface. So as my mom and I said to eachother as we got off the phone "tomorrow will be better".

A Family of 5

Well, folks, I've had quite the hiatus from blogging now haven't I? I can't promise a renewed effort but I will say that in order to post details of Miss Macy, I'll probably resort to the blog over FB. I can post quick tidbits and pics on Facebook, but more detailed accounts will come via this blog. I want to be sure to get her birth story typed out here and now is the best time to start. She's sitting about 3 feet from me in her bouncer, squeaking like crazy, so we'll see how many more seconds I can type.

Miss Macy Noel Spicer made an early arrival on 1:28pm December 23rd.
I woke up that Thursday morning feeling bogged down with the stress of not knowing the name of our baby yet. It was just one of those mornings where I felt a little down, not very nice, and frustrated. So I told the boys while they were watching cartoons that I was going to be in the living room spending time with God. I spent a good 25 minutes just talking to God about our little yet-to-be-born baby. The gist of what I prayed was "Lord, I know you know this child so well. You know what she's going to look like, what she'll become, who she'll marry, etc. I put her in Your hands. You have the best plan and You will take good care of her. Please give me peace and remove all worry from me about this child. When she arrives, please make her name abundantly clear so that we are no longer so indecisive!"
After this (about 9am) I walked into the playroom to snuggle with Noah (he had been calling me 4-5 times during this prayer). I bent down on the ground and leaned over the couch to kiss and snuggle with Noah. About 5 seconds later, my water broke. WHOA!!! I almost laughed because the timing was let's say miraculous given my oh so recent prayer. What happened over the course of the next 20 minutes was making phone calls, packing the boys' bags, etc. God's timing was absolutely perfect as it was it was Christmas break, all of our friends were at home and many offered to take the boys. The boys went next door to Sandy's house and Bri and I headed to the Dr. office. After Dr. Weiler checked me out and confirmed that the baby was on her way, we headed across the street to the hospital. Not a single patient was in labor and delivery and so I had everyone's undivided attention. :) My anesthesiologist was awesome (Dr. Jackson) and took my previous less-than-desirable c-section stories very seriously. He made sure I had PLENTY of meds in my spinal and was so attentive the entire time. He kept holding my hand and was genuinely concerned about me every step of the way. He said I definitely had some of the strangest referred pain he had ever seen. While my 3rd c-section wasn't painless it was for sure the best one yet. Thank you God for answering that prayer!!
Macy made her entrance at 1:28pm and weighed 9lb 1oz. We all could not believe how big she was considering I had gained less weight and was smaller than the rest of my pregnancies. Her looks and cry reminded us of Noah SO MUCH! When Macy was pulled out and on the warming table behind my head, God put the name Macy in my head suddenly and s . While "Macy" was on our top 5 list, we had pretty much narrowed in on Amelia as the name even minutes prior to this. But I told Brian "I think her name is Macy" and he was surprised. He wanted me to hold her and look at her before I decided for sure. It was in the recovery area that we confirmed her name as Macy Noel and haven't doubted it since.
The rest is history as I had an amazing 48hr hospital stay and was at home with my family and parents on Christmas day. My nurses were all awesome and my recovery was quick and almost painless. Another answered prayer!
Macy is 3 weeks old today. The time has flown and been quite a blur as I'm still getting less than average sleep each night. But our sweet baby girl is growing so well, eating like a champ, and getting more alert each day studying all of our faces with intensity. We love her and are so excited to have her in our family!! I'll post more details soon and update with pics of the boys (who are Macy's BIGGEST fans). :)

Really? That long???

I can't even believe I've waited so long to post. I have had a million things to post but as many confess, the whole 1-2 sentence demand of Facebook has put a damper on my blog life. This will not be long even though I owe you a long post. But wanted to update you (don't you love how I assume there are still devoted readers here???) on a few items:

1) Tomorrow marks 6 weeks till Spicegirl is due to arrive via c-section. I would not be surprised if she arrives early, however it makes no difference to me if she waits till Dec 27. It's a little scary to say 6 weeks. That means, SOON. The bedroom is completely undone. No furniture, paint or bedding. Yep, you read right. That will all change in the next 7 days or so, so I'm not the least bit concerned.

2) Heartburn and sleep continue to be difficult but nothing too terrible. Brian was gone in Australia and New Zealand for 8 days and since he's been back I feel more energetic and like my normal self. Thank you, Lord! He will not be traveling for a looooong time, so we are looking forward to lots of good family time through the holidays.

3) No name for baby girl yet. Your prayers are appreciated! :)

4) My friend Cindy and Beth threw me an adorable, perfect, incredible shower and my mom was able to be here for it. I was completely overwhelmed by the love and support that surrounds me and how much this sweet girl is already loved. The boys have been so excited about all the gifts their sister is getting. Wesley especially likes to look at them over and over again. :) So precious. I'll be anxious to get everything hung up once the room is more complete.

5) Fall weather has finally descended on Bloomington, I think. God has blessed us with amazing warm weather for so long and the next week or so it is supposed to be highs in the 50's, lows in the 30's. I'm afraid there is no turning back now. But it's been a pretty fall and I'm actually starting to get very excited for all the holiday festivities. This will be our first Thanksgiving EVER without relatives/family. It will be a sweet time with just the 4 of us.....and the last time.

6) Noah and Wesley are doing awesome. They love school and Wesley especially has really grown up these last few months. His language and attitude seem so mature BUT he definitely knows a baby is coming because he in no way is relinquishing his baby title. The words, "Wesley! STOP talking like a baby!!" can be heard from the mouth of me, Brian or Noah several times a day. :) He chooses his timing well, but it's going to be a struggle. Their relationship as brothers brings a smile to my face everyday. While there is the typical sibling rivalry, they love eachother so much and adore playing all day long.
7) Heartburn---gonna have to cut this short. Tears are coming to my eyes at the moment because my throat and chest are BURNING. Must go take some beloved (not) Mylanta. To be continued!!!

Noah's 6th birthday

Noah's birthday was September 6th and he had a football party. I wasn't sure when he first mentioned his desire whether it was going to be a good theme or not. Well, it was the best party ever. The smallest party too! But the kids were gung-ho fans of football and everyone got so into it. The decorations were so easy to find with it being the beginning of football season and the weather was incredible that day. It was the first day of college football and the weather was crystal clear and cooler (mid 60's-70's). I've been bad about posting pics on here. I will try to be better! New school pics will be coming as well!

Thankful Friday

I realize it would be more alliterate to do Thankful Thursday, but oh well, I missed it. So here is the list for this morning!

1) I'm thankful for cool morning temps. While I don't exactly want them to last throughout the day yet, I'm happy to wake up to an environment that encourages blankets, candles, coffee, hot showers, etc.

2) I'm thankful for my new non-frizz hair routine. I probably have never talked about my hair on this blog because well, it is my curly hair that hasn't changed in decades and there is never anything new to talk about. However, I created an easy non-frizz technique that is working swimmingly! It makes me feel cute---which is important at this stage of the pregnancy. :)

3) I'm thankful for my boys. They are both just so cute and cuddly and hilarious. I might be prone to treat Wesley like a baby sometimes because in some ways he's still my baby. BUT, they are both growing and maturing in such awesome ways and I'm proud of each of them for different reasons. And it seems putting them into the same room to share has helped their relationship. There has been less fighting and less pestering which is music to my ears.

4) I'm thankful for Brian. He's just the best. I love his devotion to our family as well as his job. I trust him, I love him, I admire him, and I need him.

5) I'm thankful for wonderful smelling candles. I just found some melting candle squares from last year that I bought in Nashville at this amazing little antique/country store. They are Apple Cider scented and now my kitchen smells amazing! I also loaded up Monday on some new Yankee candles as they were having an awesome sale plus I had a $15 off coupon! So my house has good smelling going on in full effect!

6) I'm thankful for people God puts in my life. Today was my first morning of ladies Bible study. I wasn't really sure if I was doing it this semester. But deep down I knew I should. The group I am in has some amazing women in it that I had never met and their stories keep me in awe. One woman had her 2 month old little boy with her who has only months left to live. He was born without a good portion of skull and so his brain is held together by extra skin. He wasn't even supposed to live past birth, but there he was, cute as a button. Amazing.

7) I'm thankful for weekends.....and actually every day that Brian isn't traveling. Brian has almost been home for one month solid and it has been glorious! He goes to work early so he gets home between 4:30 and 5 every day. This consistency and the nice evening weather we've been having has just felt like heaven. Tomorrow we start soccer practice, go to the farmer's market, and just enjoy the weekend. I'm so thankful for all of us to be together.

8) I'm thankful for upcoming family visits. My sister Kasey is coming out at the beginning of next month for the weekend. I cannot wait!! She has never been to Indiana and truthfully I have no clue the last time she and I have spent any time together without her kiddos in tow. It has been years and years. So this is a very special treat. My mom is coming out in November to keep us company while Brian is away. I'm so excited for her to be here when fall weather is in full effect not to mention her birthday and my baby shower will happen too!

Lots of other things I could list, but I am going to go downstairs and bake some muffins from this new recipe I printed off. Another thing to be thankful for! :) I've already made them once and the fam scarfed them up!!! I'm gonna try a slight variation this time with apples instead of blueberries. Until next time, my friends! Oh, and a picture of my belly about 10 days ago for those who are curious (Amber). Rest assured that in the last 10 days it has probably doubled in size.

Thoughts on recycling

I'm not sure how to begin this post without heaving through a bunch of boring old stuff. But I'll do my best to summarize. Recycling is a wonderful thing--I'll start with that. And just so you know, this post will most likely be just as much about priorities/perfectionism/guilt as recycling.

So, recycling is wonderful. I'm happy when I see blue trash cans scattered everywhere from museums to my church building that give us people a way to make our earth a healthier cleaner place. I don't think it's a burden or a conspiracy. I think it is something that has been around forever (including my annual elementary school newspaper recycling competition) and just in the last 5-10 years has picked up much more national attention, for the better.

When we moved here to Bloomington, I was aware that this city was very "green" in comparison to others I had lived in. Not sure how this would affect me, I went on with my business and actually, blogs I was reading changed me more than anything about my city. I made the decision to do away with paper napkins and paper plates (cloth napkins work so much better anyway!). Then once a local trash company included our neighborhood for recycling, I signed up for that. I also bought a composter at Sam's over a year ago and started composting all of our appropriate kitchen scraps and yard waste. Major steps for the greener good! I was feeling good and everything was going strong.

Here is where the other topics of my post come in. My mind became a bit consumed with "green". Whether I was doing something well or feeling guilty about something I had yet to be doing, I was constantly looking at other ways to be green (like ALL those other people on the web I was reading about). Some of these things were reasonable (think line drying your clothes), others were a bit bizarre (homemade personal deodorants, "no-poo" campaigns which meant to stop using traditional shampoos and resort to vinegar and oil.) So what do I usually do when feeling overwhelmed with things I should be doing? I stop doing ANYTHING.

Isn't that a wonderful strategy? Um no. But it is what it is. Paper plates started making their way back into my cupboard. Many recyclable items started ending up in the trash. Composting ended all together for months. I will admit I felt a bit liberated to operate under convenience rather than guilt. That is when I knew I needed to develop my own personal philosophy of recycling/green efforts that did not produce guilt or judgmental feelings. Not to mention, I actually started to think of God in all of this instead of just what society was "telling" me to do. Was I making all of these changes out of a true respect and love for what God has given me or was I simply trying to jump on a bandwagon and impress myself and others while advocating the new social and political issues? To be honest with you, both. I was really doing both. I loved teaching my kids about God's great blessings to us and how we were responsible for taking care of this earth, not wasting, and seeing the great lifecycle God had created through composting. But the guilt and perfectionism were coming from outside sources in media and myself. They had nothing to do with my trying to please and glorify God.

So as I was thinking of all of this, I knew I needed to document it. While I've had a huge sabbatical from blogging, I have not had a deficit in ideas. It's simply getting the time to type them out. So what is my new philosophy? Well, nothing official. Mainly I'm trying to recycle, compost and limit our paper use consistently enough so that we (my family) all learn, are all aware, and all begin to care a bit more about this amazing world we live in. No guilt trips, no rants, no crazy stints of new trends. Satan has found a foothold in me over the last couple years where pride, judgementalism, and insecurity have found refuge. God is working on me to rid my life of those yucky things and this is one area where I've learned that my priority is not to do what even really smart people in the world tell me to do. My priority is to let Jesus transform me and take steps to hear His voice above all the others.

Must end this post! More thoughts later!

Times are a changin'!

So I am not going to ignore that it has been MONTHS since I've written. I have 3 new posts that I'm working on. But for now, one small bit of exciting news.


It's A Girl!!!

Okay, that's all for now. But consider it a small start to a renewed commitment to blog. :)

Noah

This is gonna be quick, but I have to write it down before I forget. Nothing funny or situational. Just simply want to record my love for Noah. He is amazing. God has given me a miracle. At this moment, as I fold clothes in my bedroom and put them away, I reflect on how incredible Noah is to me. And it's not because he and I have had the dreamiest day ever together because we haven't. But he forgives me.....when I need to be forgiven. He hugs me and snuggles me and compliments me..........when I need all those things. He is so very smart it blows my mind. He is extremely creative and while his constant building/creating ventures torture me at times, I realize it is a rare gift he has, and I need to let it grow. He thinks about things that 5 yr olds should not be thinking about. But it tells me he is like his mama and likes to prepare himself for things. He wants to figure the bigger picture of life out. But there is no fear in him with regard to that (now, riding his bike is a different story......sigh). He is so confident and in awe of God that nothing about life worries or scares him. And as I've voiced before, he would gladly die today just so he could be with God. He dreams about heaven. I don't.
As I just put some pj's away, an envelope fell out of my drawer. I clutched it to my chest and then smelled it. The timing is amazing considering...............it is an envelope filled with potpurri that Noah sealed and decorated when he was 3. We did it together. He had me draw on the outside of the envelope all of his favorite smells. So it has a flower, pizza, an orange, and pancakes with syrup. We put it in my drawer back in TX and obviously it was still hidden there all this time. Thank you God for that gift! Man, I pray I get to spend a lifetime with this kid. I pray he only grows in his love for God. I pray his sensitivity and love for others only multiplies with time.


Alright, back to folding........