Thankful Thursday

What I'm thankful for today..........

1. Brian is home safe and sound.

2. My neighbor, Sandy, who watches the boys for an hour so I can work out.

3. Our cheap Easter tablecloth that brightens up our dining room.

4. free coupons for Dill Chips from Scotty's. :)

5. All the clothes I get from my sisters to clothe my children.

6. The first daffodil that bloomed in my yard yesterday.

7. Great friends who call to check on me.

8. A weekend coming up with all 4 of us.

9. essential oils (lavender in particular)

10. my cutie patootie boys that I can't stop kissing.

Check Engine Light

That is my engine light. Could be I'm out of gas, could be my air filter is blocked and I need some refreshing, could be my battery is going dead, could be..................but whatever it is, my engine is coming closer to a stand still.

I can't even begin to write what might possibly have caused this "phase" or refer to past phases like it. I have no energy to do that. All I have energy to do is express that I'm wiped out. I feel like a doormat. I feel like I have gone gone gone for almost 2 weeks and now there is little go left in me. I can't even speak coherent responses to my children because my brain is fried. "Uh huh" is about all I can muster. I feel lazy (which is highly impossible), tired, and just blaaaaaaaaaa. I don't feel like "doing" anything. I don't feel like taking care of responsibilities or filling roles. I feel like shutting my eyes and waking up a week or two from now with a new engine and a full tank of gas.

Amidst this phase, regardless how I have felt noted above, I have not been lazy. I have done anything that a normal mom, housewife, wife, friend, and sister would have done. Made phone calls, mailed presents, cleaned out closets, organized things, fed children, cooked, laundry etc. There were occasional glimmers of feeling accomplished but a majority of the time during this phase I have felt like I was simply going through the motions. Grey would be the color to describe my psyche. Each day seems to fly by and seems to repeat itself in a similar manner. I hope it is because my husband has been gone for 7 out of the past 9 days. I say that with full respect for him and his job. It is in no way a knock. He suffers just as much as me when he travels. Anyway, I was saying I hope that is why this phase has set in. I hope with his return tonight, that things will look brighter tomorrow.

I long for the energetic, bright hearted, engine I'm used to....that others are used to. I'm tired of Satan making me feel insecure about everything....that has never been my nature. So feel free to pray for this phase to end soon. Feel free to pray that when I do sleep, it would be good sleep instead of restless sleep. I'm completely aware that this is a phase and will end and that is why I keep referring to it as such. So don't worry, this Eeyore won't be around forever. :)

Word throw-up:

A quick and painless way to clear my mind. And you know I would never use the "v" word in this title. :)

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed just for the moment on all the messages the world sends us---mostly good---definitely cheesy, but difficult to balance and just be free!
Calgon.....take me away!

-Be true to yourself (whatever the crap that means anyway)
-Be in the moment
-Listen twice as much as you speak
-Pause before you respond
-Listen to God's still small voice (which can be EXTREMELY amidst all these other messages)
-Let go and let God
-Don't judge
-Be the change you wish to see
-Think positively
-Take risks
-Get out of the box
-Be green
-Live for today
-Live for tomorrow
-Make the most of every moment
-Take the time to slow down and rest
-Let kids be kids
-Discipline your children
-Have the heart of a child
-Protect your children
-Let your children make mistakes and learn lessons
-Be different
-Read lots of books to learn what everyone else is doing
-Listen to your heart
-Listen to Oprah ;0
-Hold your tongue
-Let it all out
-Believe in yourself
-You are a strong, powerful, beautiful woman
-Recognize your potential
-Be humble
-Think of others more highly than yourself

MostofthetimeIamconfidentinhowIfeelandcanleanonGodnomatterwhatmessagesareoutthere. Todayisadaywheretherearesomanythingstoconsiderasawife,woman,mom,andindividualthatIfeel alittleheavyandweigheddown.IwouldloveadeletebuttonsothatIcanclearmyheadandhearonlyGodandmyself.