What's a mother to do............

So I just had a wonderful day with Noah. We played at the local "Let's Jump" with our good friends, The Woodwards, and then had a surprisingly relaxing lunch at ChickFilet. But I am still amazed at how quickly a good mood can turn into a sour one............oh, not mine, Noah's. :) He was doing great, perfectly happy. He even wanted to hold my hand a lot today which is rare. But all of a sudden as it was time to waltz through the parking lot over to our car (which was parked far away because there was only parking at Burger King left) Noah decided to throw a fit. The craziness of it all is that I DON'T KNOW WHY. Some of you may understand this completely. But typically I know exactly what has caused Noah to throw a fit. This time, I wasn't so lucky. He proceeded to scream and lurch his body and refused to hold my hand. Which caused me to grab hold of his arm (don't you hate seeing moms do that?) FIRMLY and drag him along. Well, it had been raining, there were lots of cars around, and frankly not a discreet place to be dragging your son around. I kept yelling at him "what is wrong!!??? Get up NOW!" I even spanked him which of course only caused him to scream louder. I finally had to put my arm around his side and pull him to me and halfway-carry him across the parking lot all the way to the car with him crying and people looking. I actually don't care much for what other people think. But this time I realized other people were thinking, "Oh look at that. Another crazy toddler with a discheveled (sp?) mother dragging him along. I'm so glad I'm not her."

Well we got into the car and Noah continued to cry and cry. He's very dramatic if you don't know him and carries on for awhile. But I offered him his Sprite and he seemed to turn it off like a faucet. As we walked in the door, I felt exhausted and downtrodden (after only 15 minutes before feeling on top of the world!). Noah seemed to be keeping a very watchful eye on me. He knew mommy was mad. He knew mommy was unhappy with him. As I finished changing his diaper in his room he stood up and flashed me this big smile and wrapped his arms around my neck. It was so clear that he wanted me to be 'ok' again. It broke my heart to see him so in tune with me and hopeful that I wouldn't carry my bitterness and anger for much longer. It made me realize that I have no right to drag things on and on hoping to teach a 2 year old a lesson. It was clear he felt bad and was ready to move on. And so I did. But it made me think about how less motivated I am to "get over it" when it comes to other relationships in my life. Why do I hang on to hurt, disappointment, or annoyance when I could simply move on? Do I give Brian the same break I give Noah? Not usually. And how important my relationship is with my husband! Anyway, it's time I go lay down as I am still feeling the effects of the emotional drain I caused myself. But I hope this reminds me to cut everyone a break and realize that staying mad does not make a person learn a lesson any better .....usually. :) Your thoughts?