Highs & Lows

At mealtime, the four of us have "highs and lows" as a part of our dinner conversation. I heard a friend of ours say they did that and thought it was something we should start as well. Sometimes we get laughs out of what is said, other times we really learn what Noah appreciates about his day, etc. Well, I thought it appropriate to make a highs and lows list of my time here in TX. It'll be a little generic because I can't possibly list all the people that I had fun with and don't want to insult anyone I didn't have fun with. :) (wink wink)

I'm actually going to start with the low. You read right, THE low, singular. My former youth minister and friend died today from acute respiratory distress syndrome that was brought on by the swine flu. Yes, someone actually got it and died from it that isn't foreign, or infantile, or elderly. 26 days ago Ron Stowe was a healthy guy. Today he died and went to spend eternity next to Jesus. Simply mind boggling. I'm heartbroken. I haven't spoke to Ron for years. I didn't even know that he and his family live here in TX now. I knew him in Southern Cal when I was real young, and then he was my youth minister in Albuquerque my junior and senior year. It was ironic that I got the news he was sick while we were here. They live in Pflugerville, TX which is near San Antonio, I believe. He and Lauren were going to celebrate their 25th anniversary this August. They have four children ages 11 to 21. I used to babysit their first 2 in highschool. I was a jacked up high school student who thought I was a lot cooler than I was. I did things I shouldn't do and was not really involved at all in the youth group. But I babysat===and that is where Ron and I formed our friendship. He and Lauren were 2 of maybe 5 adults that I could actually talk to and felt like myself around. I thought they were so cool and they made me feel like one of their own. We would stay up late talking after they returned from their dates. It made me feel special. The quality Ron possessed that I loved the most was his humor. That guy was funny. Dang funny. He was so sarcastic and HILARIOUS. He could make me laugh with a mere look. I wanted to be around him all the time---which says a lot for a teenager. I just want to cry really really hard about this but haven't been in the right spot to do so. There are about 540 people just on FB that have been praying for Ron and most of them had a relationship with him. IT's been fun to reconnect and even find people that i know now that I had no idea knew Ron. (did that make sense?)  

Ultimately, I'm confused. And that might not be the best word. I've said before that I don't cope well with anything I can't understand or that doesn't have a logical explanation. I guess today is like the exclamation point on this quality/struggle. Honestly? I really thought God was going to heal him (on earth). I really did. I mean, when over 500 people just on Facebook unite to pray for this man at just the right time, and God's glory can be shown in a uniquely powerful way after he's been on life support for 13 days, WHY WOULDN'T HE???? I just don't get it. I'm at a loss. I feel defeated. And I shouldn't. Because ultimately Ron got his reward tonight. But I feel defeated because I just don't understand why God didn't heal him. Of course lots of wonderful things will be said about him and people will go to the ends of the earth to take care of his precious family. But at this very moment, I really do feel like we needed him more here on earth. That's my raw honesty. And so it is times like this that I feel like an awkward daughter not knowing what to say to my Dad. Knowing ultimately He knows best, but not liking his decision and feeling really really sad. 

Please lift up the Stowe family in prayer, today and every day that you can remember. As we can all see the length of this blog post is getting ridiculous and therefore I'm going to hold off on the highs till tomorrow or Monday. And maybe it is simply appropriate to mourn today and celebrate another day anyway.