I couldn't resist.....

Looking over old posts....came upon this one....I could watch it 200 times. I had to share.

http://aprilspicer.blogspot.com/2007/07/i-couldnt-resist-it.html

One step further...

 I mentioned in my last post the miracle of macy starting cows milk on occasion. Well, this morning was another game changer.....she held her bottle!!! The boys did this from 6 months on. Not Macy. She has been boob exclusive. :) so imagine my joy at my big girl holding her bottle of cows milk this morning. Hooray! We are transitioning slowly but so far so good!!!

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30 days

There are 30 days roughly till we go to TX for Christmas. A couple different things happened tonight in preparation for that event.

1) I did Day 1 of Jillian's 30 day shred. (my hands and legs are still shaking as I type. Oy!)
2) I just gave Macy her first taste of cows milk in a bottle. YAHOO!!!

So I suggested to Bri that we go low carb for 30 days to lose some much needed weight before we go to TX and see family, eat In-N-Out, eat Del Taco, see friends, eat In-N-Out, see more friends, eat more, etc. Today was our first day to do so and it went pretty well. We are letting ourselves eat carbs for breakfast because it is too difficult and time consuming and boring to eat all protein at the chaotic breakfast hour. But lunches and dinners will be meat and veggies based. My friend Jessie recommended Jillian's 30 day shred upon hearing of our plan. She is 8 months prego and clearly wouldn't be using the DVD so she let me borrow it. I just finished day one about an hour ago and it was good. I can tell that when I get to level 3 I will try to find some reason to not exercise for the measly 20 min it requires. So I employed Brian to yell at me if necessary to make me do it. Come on. It's twenty minutes, folks.

I have been feeling just a little bit timid about Macy turning 1 in 27 days and she still nurses VERY often and only has a bottle if we need a babysitter to give her one. Ouch. This is the opposite extreme of where we were with the boys at this stage in their life. So I decided tonight to give her a few ounces of cows milk in a bottle when I put her to bed (because I had already nursed her shortly before). She did not hesitate to gulp the entire thing down and cried when I told her it was all gone. SUCCESS! This opened a whole new world to me in a matter of seconds as I visualized someone other than myself putting her to bed with little more effort than pouring some milk in a bottle (no finding frozen breastmilk, defrosting it, trying not to spill it, etc). So I feel a bit victorious this evening for the 2 reasons stated up above. Now I just hope she doesn't wake up with side splitting pain tonight as if the cows milk bothers her---that would suck.

I know, I know. There is just so much excitement going around in the Spicer household you must be jealous. We lead a very dynamic life. :) Just want to document it all!

Lots o' family time

I love this pic for many reasons. A) it shows Noah in a rare moment where he accepts the love and snuggles his baby brother gives B) it is a copy cat of a pic I posted on the blog maybe 2 yrs ago and this is the first time it has happened since and C) it shows no matter how home bound we have been lately due to illness, there is still lots of love going around. :)
Macy has been sick....again, Noah has had croup (after a 2 yr hiatus), and I have been driven to crazy town.....multiple times. There is just something abt a baby crying for you that zaps you to the very core. Macy has been sooooo needy and Bri got a huge dose of it this weekend. Whew! I would say we've been in survival mode. HOWEVER, there have been lots of sweet moments scattered about. Lots of game playing, coloring, movie watching, tickling, and just plain lounging. Praise God for a home we can spread out in, an extra bedroom for the sick kid, rainy days that make it more acceptable to stay in, and an eating out budget when mama does NOT feel like cooking. :) More later folks.....pray for us as kids heal physically and mama heals mentally...

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Macy Claps!

I was SO excited tonight when Macy clapped for the first time! She has loved songs that have clapping, but she hasn't ever done it herself. She has just started to wave a tiny bit the last 2 weeks, but this was sooo cute! Enjoy.

Poor lil sick girl

Here is lil miss getting her breathing treatment before bed.

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Grey

I'm having one of those days/periods where you feel like if a camera was on you, it would be permanent proof that you are a pathetic mess, a mom on the edge. My home is fairly clean, fridge stocked, 4 out of 5 people healthy, sunny outside and a world of possibilities at my doorstep. Yet, I feel like an exhausted, frazzled, out of sorts, disorganized, half empty human. Okay, maybe that is a bit over dramatic. :) But if you are a mom, you completely get it. The baby is sick and draining every last drop of everything out of me. She is cranky, clingy, picky and completely unpredictable. Macy is usually very happy go lucky so this makes for a difficult time for all. She won't eat anything (she will nurse) and man, that sure makes a big difference when you are atleast used to sitting down for 10 minutes of peace while she eats a jar of babyfood or nibbles on various baby snacks. But no. She shakes her head and starts crying, spitting, etc at the proposal of any solids. Now, she has snuck in some spoonfuls here and there, but not enough to appease me.  

Yes, it could be worse. OF COURSE it could be worse. But isn't that a stupid saying sometimes!? It is completely true and yet sounds so trite and does nothing for the present set of circumstances. I suppose it is said in order to change our state of mind, outlook, etc. And I will eventually get around to embracing those words at some point today. But now, at 1:32pm, I am going to squint my tired stiff eyes and continue typing until I have finished this post and then maybe head to bed for a quick nap.

My husband is taking off to far off places pretty soon which makes this all seem harder since I won't have his extra set of hands for awhile. I feel like I long for family nearby more than ever and yet there is simply no way to make it happen. I promise I'm not this whimpy all the time. ;) I can be a machine and whip through this stuff with nary a complaint at times. But what can I say? This isn't one of those times. I'm a very imperfect human being.

We just got back from a walk around the neighborhood and I stared at the back of Wesley running/scootering thinking "how cute is he? My sweet baby boy. Getting so big, so handsome and so sweet". I'm thankful. I'm blessed. I have all that I need and more. But today, bleh. Being a mom is hard.....

My Halloween cuties!

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Macy at 9 months

I'm not going to spend time on the fact that I've been ridiculous about blogging...nope, not gonna talk about it.

This post is to talk about Macy-girl. Because that is what we call her. Macy-girl. She is 9 months old. We haven't even videoed her crawling yet so it hit me that I better start writing. So here is the run down on our 9 month old:

--She still has no teeth. But JUST LIKE HER BROTHER, NOAH, it seems she is about to get her two front teeth as her first teeth. :) So funny, so cute, slightly odd.

--She started crawling backwards several weeks ago. Then about 10 days ago she started occasionally going forward. As of 6 days ago, she is officially crawling.....everywhere.....QUICKLY.
She is so happy to be able to move toward whatever she wants and grab it, climb it, hold it, bite it, etc. She is pulling up on anything she can and standing with much confidence. She got her first head bump/bruise tonight and I am reluctant to say that this is the beginning of many.

--Macy is a happy girl. She loves to laugh and cackle. She is happy in her crib, happy in her car seat, really happy outside. People always make the comment "Does she EVER stop smiling?" Obviously this is a huge blessing. She is her brothers biggest fan. They keep her entertained quite a bit.

--Books are becoming one of her favorite things. It makes me laugh out loud when I tell her we are "All done" in a cheery voice and wave my hands in the sign and she starts puckering up that lip and crying. I know. Maybe that is mean that I laugh, but she is so freakin' cute!

--Food. Hmm. Not sure how to summarize. She doesn't really looooove food. Maybe she isn't my child? :) She isn't picky. She eats pretty much anything I give her. But she is not excited about eating. Whether I stopped feeding her after 2 bites or 20, I don't think she would care. Should be interesting how this plays out over time.

--Sleeping. Ahhhhh, I suppose I need to touch on this for documentation purposes. I would categorize her as an "average" sleeper. She takes 2 naps a day....doesn't fight it. They aren't typically long....sometimes I get lucky. She still isn't sleeping thru the night (play the violin music) and I basically never know when she's gonna wake up or how many times. I only feed her once a night and it is getting later and later....usually the 4 o'clock hour. I know this phase won't last but truthfully I didn't expect her to be this way. Our others were sleeping thru the night by now, so I'm a bit of a rookie in this area.

--Bottom line, we are in love with this precious princess. She is super snuggly, loves to hug tightly, and we're working on kisses. :)

Not always peachy

Today comes to a close after no husband, a kid with pink eye, a somewhat fussy baby, rain outside, and no friends around due to a contagious boy and Spring Break. I pause and wonder if I should continue typing since Macy is screaming her bloody neck off. Hmmmm....will go check on her. Ok, I think I got her down. She has the classic Spicer baby genes with regard to screaming herself to sleep at night. Occasionally she'll go down easy, not enough to fool us into thinking she is "different" from her brothers. :/

The last couple weeks, I've had the reoccurring thought that having 3 kids is hard. This may seem like a silly and somewhat obvious statement. However, I have this innate quality that always wants to seem relaxed and in control. I don't get into drama and I always think there is something worse that could be my reality so I shouldn't believe that this moment is hard, terrible, etc. I suppose I have a problem with feeling like it is ok to complain in a serious nature. And then I remember some words that were either from Biggest Loser or my therapist (ha ha ha) that feelings are just feelings; they are not right or wrong. So I can feel like life is hard right now and I don't need to judge it against someone else's life or defend it. I can feel what I feel, and accept that. I suppose it boils down to pride why I hate appearing frazzled. I can feel frazzled, I just don't want to show that. :) make sense?

Anyway, today was a day where I longed for help. I wanted a sister's house to run to, a mom's reassuring smile, an aunt's arms to hold my baby, a friend to make me laugh....you get the idea. Was my day TERRIBLE? No. I've had many worse days actually. But it wasn't fun. It was lonely, and I felt a little stuck. I felt bad for my boys. I am sure they didn't think much of it which is good, but I was ready for one of them to say at any moment, "this day is boring and sad, Mom". I even tried to have a moment where we talked about Japan and what happened there, being thankful, drawing pictures, praying, etc.....I'm glad we did it, but it didn't help how I felt. We cleaned out the playroom and packaged up 3 trash bags of toys and books to give away. Again, I'm glad we did it, it made me feel like I made something of this day, but it still didn't redeem the day.

Now I'm talking to my dad on the phone. Talked to my mother in law earlier. Texted with Brian. Once again, trying to feel not so lonely. :) Talking to my mom always makes me feel better. And it's not because she has advice or even reassures me. It's just hearing her pretty voice and feeling a lighter side to the concern that I feel. Tonight she and my dad were cracking me up because they shed some light on why I have kind of a no nonsense approach to dealing with sick/hurt kids. I guess my oldest sister was a drama queen and constantly was "hurt" so they were pretty desensitized by the time I rolled around. I told them I don't remember hardly ever receiving much pity from them and now I know why. That mirrors the fact that Macy screaming her neck off doesn't get to me NEAR as much as it did with Noah. God gave me 3 screamers---I can't do much about it. Just wait for it to pass I guess.....:)

Alright, not sure where this post is going. Simply wanting to type about today. 3 kids has it's challenges for sure. I'm not cut out to be a single parent. I wish Bri didn't travel, I wish we lived closer to family, I wish....................... BUT I have an amazing life with a gorgeous family, a wonderful home and incredible friends that God has blessed me with. In the wake of all that has happened in Japan, I cannot dwell on any momentary inconvenience. I simply cannot imagine what life is like for thousands of precious Japanese people right now. Devastating doesn't scratch the surface. So as my mom and I said to eachother as we got off the phone "tomorrow will be better".