April's Life of Spice

Go Cubbies! I'd like to think their winning streak has something to do with us gracing their city with our presence. :) We made it back late last night and had a great time. What a cool city!
For those of you who have the chance, GO EAT AT PASANO'S!!

We're walking around downtown Chicago or "Gold Coast" and I see this place called "Pasanos". I told Pete, Heather and Brian that I don't know where, but I heard that place was really good. None of them knew anything about it and probably didn't trust my uneducated opinion either. So later that night we were walking around looking for a dinner location and passed another Pasanos (there are 3 locations in Chicago). After declining a seafood restaurant we thought we'd give Pasanos a shot. It turned out to be the jackpot! Their pizza is to die for and the pastas were amazing too. You gotta try it.

This trip was an interesting one. I'm not sure I've debriefed completely yet. It was great to see our friends Pete and Heather. They are at a different point in their lives. They are currently living with Heather's parents because they have yet to close on their new house. They have a baby due in 5 weeks and a 20 month old that has more energy than all of us combined. Let's just say that "pure relaxation" was not the outcome of this trip. :) Nor was it supposed to be. We wanted to go somewhere new, as well as check in on our friends. And we accomplished those things. But seeing the state of stress and unsettledness our friends are currently in, it made me evaluate where I am as a person, mom, and friend.

I always hoped that when I had Noah, I wouldn't turn into some all or nothin' mom that completely lost her former identity. I've definitely seen that happen to some and I didn't want to go there. I've realized that thank the Lord, I am still very much the same old April, just with a few more notches in my belt, so to speak. :) Noah is absolutely adorable and I'm head over heels for him. But I still love being alone, chatting with friends (about non-kid related topics), listening to music I loved in high school, and dreaming about what I'm going to do in the next 10 to 15 years. For this, I am thankful.

Now that leads ironically to where I am as a mom. We all have these ideas about the kind of parent we want to be--before and after we actually have a child. I'm realizing that while I have general goals for being a parent, so much of it evolves along the way--each and every day. As I figure out a facet of Noah's personality, it gives me an idea. As I learn his new found capability, it teaches me something new to look out for. I'll see something someone else does with their child, and decide I want to do that too. But with these same ideas, come the realization that I no matter what my "plan" is for being a mom, it's going to happen differently than I think. At its most basic form, I learned this when for the first 5 months, Noah screamed his head off and acted angry at the whole world. Never did I think that would happen. But it taught me so much about what I can't control and the stuff I'll never be able to control. God has been teaching me a lot this year about control. For those of us who like to be in control, these are hard lessons to learn!

Lastly, while I'm still focused on my own self-development, as well as growing as a mother, the whole dimension of being a good friend is more prominent than ever. As we are going through these changes and learning all these lessons, we need friends to get us through. I learned this weekend that being a friend isn't always trying to get someone out of a sad/bad mood but instead listening and letting them cry for however long it takes. Being a friend is sharing your feelings/advice but also knowing when to hold back (you don't always have to be right!!). Being a friend is being able to see the future of your friendship regardless of how it may seem at the moment.

Being a friend is setting aside your desires for a grand vacation for a minute and instead realizing the opportunity God has given you to be there for a friend during a difficult time. That was a new lesson for me.

Okay, enough of this sudo-poetic mess. :) Chicago was unique in many many ways and I'll remember it forever.