A Poignant Reminder

I'm not even sure how to write this post and how to capture all my emotions and thoughts in a concise way. But it's a must that I post. Bottom line, I haven't truly shared my faith in a real way in a loooooooooong time. It just so happens I guess that most everyone I hang out with is a Christian or up to date on the whole "faith thing" and so the proper conditions for a true 'this is what I believe and why I believe it' kind of session has not taken form.
However, in my past mission work, you could have heard me say that when I was truly sharing my faith, one on one, with another person, I felt the truest completeness of my existence. I've heard many others say the same. You suddenly realize this is what God created us for---to share His love and the story of His love in our lives-- with others. Nothing can take the place of that feeling. Nothing can replicate it.
So there have been moments when I've definitely thought about the fact that months and years have gone by in my life where I have not had an a-to-z rundown with someone on my faith, my story, my Jesus. I mean, the nitty gritty declaration where it is raw, and vulnerable, and scary. But at the same time exhilirating. And it's only raw and vulnerable and scary because you realize how important what your talking about is. You want God to be glorified and the listener to be receptive. But you also realize that we do not grow the seed. We merely plant it and God, the grandest Gardener of them all, does the rest. Well, I had one of those seed planting sessions last night. And while it was unexpected, it shouldn't have been because I prayed in advance of this outing that God would be there with me and it would go well. So I praise Him right now for answering my prayer in such a real way.
I think the part that leaves me so convicted and so awestruck is that once again, the idea that we can "earn" our salvation and "do" enough good deeds to get to Heaven is alive and well in our world. But the question I posed to this thinking was, "then why did Jesus need to die (and rise again)? What was the purpose of that if we can essentially get to heaven on our own?"--because the person I was talking with believed Jesus came and lived and died and rose. The question went unanswered because she admitted she had never really been asked that question or thought it through. But she wanted to give it some time to think it over.
The root of a works-based salvation can have one of two explanations. I would say pride is the first one--"grace just can't be a "free" gift! You have to be worthy. We must earn it."
The second is wanting to get to heaven without going through Jesus. Or maybe wanting someone else to get to heaven---knowing they are such a "good" person but knowing they don't "believe" all the right Christian things. Both of these are completely understandable lines of thinking and I probably possessed them at different moments in my life. But ultimately I now know they were never in God's plan. He created us, He knows us better than anyone---what we are not capable of, and what we need in order to be in relationship with Him. We need Jesus. I realize this everyday but of course there are many times when I think I'm doing mighty fine on my own. I think I'm pretty holy. Pretty "spiritual". Last night was a quick reminder that nothing holds a candle to Jesus. Nothing can even compare to what He sacrificed for me...FOR me. Explaining to someone else that I don't think we can earn our salvation simply reminded me how easy it is to let that subtle thinking in--even for Christians.
So I feel like I'm still going through a bit of an adrenaline rush and realizing divine moments were exchanged last night. Of course it made me realize there are so many things I don't "know" in order to "prove" Jesus, our Savior. It made me want to brush up on various historical details and other views out there. But before all that I'm so thankful God gave me His stamp on my heart. The transformation He did on my life that will never be taken away and ultimately is my example of His love and promises. I realize without a true relationship with Jesus, faith has to be so difficult. I'm not even sure I would be a Christian if I wasn't in a relationship with God because I'm not sure it could ever be real enough to me.

So anyway, there are my thoughts. I had to get this down on paper (virtual). Lord, don't let me forget how sharing You with others is a priceless function you created us for.