Parents

I just said goodbye to my parents about 15 minutes ago. We have spent a week together and they just drove away to take the long journey back to TX. While I'm not a newbie to IN like last summer, their visit still meant so much to me and I find myself feeling a little sad and sentimental. You might remember me talking about these same emotions when my mom finished a visit last fall.
There is just something about being with my parents that lets me take a break and focus on being a daughter instead of just a mom and wife. When they leave, it's like a horn in my face that it's back to the grind of going a million miles a minute (sometimes) and kinda feels sad at first. Suddenly I am the one making every decision, cleaning every mess, and ultimately responsible for everything. A wonderful accompaniment to these roles is to wake up SICK, the very morning they are leaving. My first instinct is to think if I have anyone that can save me and take the boys off my hands for a few hours so I can sleep. I had many people to call in TX that fit that description. I have people that would say yes here too, but I would end up feeling a little guilty. A close friend in Texas, Kristen, was always just a phone call away and she would happily take my kids for me. She has her own wild and woolly kids, but she truly loved having my kids there. I never felt guilty. I trusted her.

Trust is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. That's what so great about having mom and dad here is I trust them 100%. There is just something precious about being with people that you trust 100%. I can be completely transparent and never let my self conscious get the best of me. What a blessing! I think part of trusting is understanding expectations. I trust God is who He says He is and that He is all powerful, loving and good. But I definitely confuse myself about His expectations and tell myself lies based on the world and my earthly father-daughter relationship. Then trust becomes a little harder and more complicated. It was sooooooo good for me to re-read The Shack recently and I'll discuss that in another post. But ultimately I loved gaining back my perspective on who God is and what He does and doesn't expect of me. He simply wants a relationship with His child. And it is the most freeing, trusting, burden-less Father-daughter relationship there could ever be. So now that my parents are headed back to their life in TX, I feel my heavenly Father telling my heart to commit some precious time to Him. I can trust Him. I'm not alone today while I muster up energy to clean, do laundry, and attend to my children. He is here. He is letting me be a daughter even when my most obvious role is a mother today. I just have to practice remembering that!