I Am........

tasting the ranch from lunch an hour ago. Love Buccetos. Hate the aftertaste.

smelling fresh sheets that I just folded.

watching the trees dance in the breeze out my window.

listening to the new Need to Breathe CD. Heavenly.

touching my keyboard and holding a cup of water simultaneously.

feeling excited for Brian to walk through the door from a business trip.

loving my friends....Misty, Carrie, Cindy and Beth to name a few. :)

desiring another baby!

wishing I could make impromptu visits to Texas, California, Colorado, New York and Montana.

thanking my Creator for always knowing what is best for me.

needing to get up and do some cleaning. :)

Groupies

Not really. But we did have a blast at a Need to Breathe concert with our friends Misty and Thad. I have to tell you, people, if you don't listen to them, YOU ARE MISSING OUT!! They are amazing. And in concert, even better! The lead singer's voice is incredible, completely natural and flawless. They jam. We felt young and old all at the same time. Please, if you haven't heard them, go check em' out on ITunes. Their newest CD released today in the stores. But every single one of their CDs have been amazing. Here's some pics of our night out on the town!

Parents

I just said goodbye to my parents about 15 minutes ago. We have spent a week together and they just drove away to take the long journey back to TX. While I'm not a newbie to IN like last summer, their visit still meant so much to me and I find myself feeling a little sad and sentimental. You might remember me talking about these same emotions when my mom finished a visit last fall.
There is just something about being with my parents that lets me take a break and focus on being a daughter instead of just a mom and wife. When they leave, it's like a horn in my face that it's back to the grind of going a million miles a minute (sometimes) and kinda feels sad at first. Suddenly I am the one making every decision, cleaning every mess, and ultimately responsible for everything. A wonderful accompaniment to these roles is to wake up SICK, the very morning they are leaving. My first instinct is to think if I have anyone that can save me and take the boys off my hands for a few hours so I can sleep. I had many people to call in TX that fit that description. I have people that would say yes here too, but I would end up feeling a little guilty. A close friend in Texas, Kristen, was always just a phone call away and she would happily take my kids for me. She has her own wild and woolly kids, but she truly loved having my kids there. I never felt guilty. I trusted her.

Trust is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. That's what so great about having mom and dad here is I trust them 100%. There is just something precious about being with people that you trust 100%. I can be completely transparent and never let my self conscious get the best of me. What a blessing! I think part of trusting is understanding expectations. I trust God is who He says He is and that He is all powerful, loving and good. But I definitely confuse myself about His expectations and tell myself lies based on the world and my earthly father-daughter relationship. Then trust becomes a little harder and more complicated. It was sooooooo good for me to re-read The Shack recently and I'll discuss that in another post. But ultimately I loved gaining back my perspective on who God is and what He does and doesn't expect of me. He simply wants a relationship with His child. And it is the most freeing, trusting, burden-less Father-daughter relationship there could ever be. So now that my parents are headed back to their life in TX, I feel my heavenly Father telling my heart to commit some precious time to Him. I can trust Him. I'm not alone today while I muster up energy to clean, do laundry, and attend to my children. He is here. He is letting me be a daughter even when my most obvious role is a mother today. I just have to practice remembering that!

Wait a minute

I'm kind of freaking out right now. We picked up a toddler bed from our neighbor tonight and Brian got it all set up in Wesley's room (with his crib still there). I methodically reminded Brian how we did with this with Noah.......first we let him look at it and get used to its presence....then we let him take naps in it but still sleep in his crib at night....etc, etc.
I gave Noah a late bath tonight and walk about of the bathroom to find Wesley's door already closed and Brian told me he put him to bed. I said, "Did he ask about the big boy bed at all??"
"He's in the big boy bed" Brian says.
Ummmmmmmm, what?????? "I'm not ready" is all I could keep saying. I didn't even get to look at him! There's no turning back. One night in the big boy bed and he'll never want to sleep in the crib again! And I'm kinda progression-oriented so I can't rationalize putting him in the crib some nights and not others. What just happened???? My baby..........

Rico, Julia, and Pumpkins

Nice title huh? Well, it is a preview of a very diverse post I will write here. There is much to write about and I know you want to hear about Costa Rica but I just don't feel like pouring over the details, so I'll give you a few highlights of the last week.

• Costa Rica was beeeeee-utiful. Weather was perfect---only rained one day. They were on mountain time, so Brian and I were up at 6:15am every morning so our days were nice and long.
  
• We ate lots of good food. Costa Rican food is like authentic mexican food with more flavor. So that's yummy.
  
• There are lizards/iguanas everywhere. Big ones. So we named one of them Rico that we passed every single morning as we left our bungalow.
• We went ziplining and that was a huge highlight. I highly recommend doing it if you every have a chance. It's not scary at all---totally exhilarating. I was just sad cuz I didn't see a sloth zipping next to me.
  
• I got stung by a jellyfish.....within 2 hours of arriving at the hotel. I know, crazy. After spending half my life in the Pacific Ocean, this is the first time that has ever happened. But really, it's not a big deal. I think it's a bigger deal picturing that thing touching your body than the actual pain. And I didn't even see it, so there you go.
  
• My sister is a rockstar for watching my kiddos (and hers). Everyone had a blast and I am as thankful for the time my kids got to spend with them as I am getting to spend time alone with Brian. I would have loved to actually be here in IN to visit with her more (since this was her first time visiting). Kimmy, I love you! You are the best!
  
• Today I went to see Julie & Julia with my friends Cindy and Beth (as well as brunch and shopping). I truly can't remember the last time I shopped for clothes with girlfriends. I am not a shopper and this was much more fun than I ever thought possible. I think it was because we didn't even plan on going---the movie theater lost power and we had to kill time somehow............so TJMaxx reaped the benefits of the power outtage. :) Anyway, the three of us had so much fun browsing and recommending clothes for eachother. My amazing husband let me spend 7 hours away from home today and that was perfect in everyway.
  
• But the true high point was seeing Julie & Julia. Please go see it as soon as you can. It's a perfect movie in many ways. Nothing bad, crude, or inappropriate. The couples in the movie are married which is a WELCOMED change. The food looks amazing and my head flew back many times as I laughed heartily at the film. But truly, at it's core, it's shows two great partnerships and the journey of marriage. It shows how women seek to be defined these days and back in the 50's. And yes, if you know me at all, you know I love cooking, love food, love reading about food, etc. So it's a hard movie not to love. Meryl Streep does a homerun job and I couldn't critique her if I wanted to. I have countless memories of my dad and I watching Julia Childs all growing up on TV. My dad loved to imitate her voice (who doesn't?) but he also loved to see her cook. So did I. I think at the end of the film, it says her Mastering the Art of French Cooking is in it's 57th edition. I presume after this movie gets seen enough, it will be in it's 80th printing before too long. I know I have a sudden itch to learn french cuisine!
• To tie up this random post, I wanted to declare I have 2 itsy bitsy teenie weenie pumpkins growing on my vines. Pumpkin plants grow amazingly fast. The variety I'm planting are small sugar (pie) pumpkins and will be perfect for decoration and cooking. Since they are small, my guess is I don't have to wait near as long for them to mature as you would huge jack-o-lantern ones. Anyhoo, it gets me very excited for the fall, even if that does mean that summer has to end, and cold weather will be ushered in shortly after fall. :(
  

I'll be back soon to post pics of Costa Rica and hopefully start up a more regular blog life once again. Hope everyone out there is healthy and happy!!!

And we're off!

Alrighty folks, I realize I haven't been very studious in blogging lately so it's not like you'll miss me much more on vacation right? Brian and I are about to embark on our 10th anniversary trip to Costa Rica. The kids are being cared for by family and all is well in the world. I'm giving myself a little positive self talk cuz at the moment I'm feeling the whole separation anxiety, guilt, fear junk which is so NOT appropriate. I would really appreciate your prayers that Brian and I have a truly memorable trip with lots of relaxing and growing closer than we have the past 10 years. I really want this to be the best trip we've ever had and 90% of that happens in my head---not circumstances. So join with me in prayer that I can leave my mommy duties alone for a few days and just remember how much I love being an adult=====an adult in paradise! I also appreciate your prayers for the kids that they stay safe and healthy. We're on a bit of an injury spree so it needs to stop the minute I walk out the door. :) Half of Noah's face is purple (not an exaggeration) and Wesley got hit in the head close range with a rock today leaving 3 little gashes in his head. He was tough though and nothing serious, thank goodness.

I hope all is well with those of you that read my blog. I'm not sure what my deal is lately but I seem to have lost my mojo. Hopefully a nice vacation will cure that right up and I'll be back in full effect shortly. See you all soon!

Deep Thoughts?

Sometimes I feel like 10 times a day I'm asking myself if anyone else thinks like me. You know, when you are totally nodding your head while your kid asks you a question and your mind is off in Jumanji.....those kinds of thoughts. Brian has to sometimes physically pull me back into the present because I'm off somewhere thinking of the deepest, weirdest, craziest, saddest things that human beings can possibly think of. Have you been there? I think that it takes being around someone who is so not a deep thinker that makes you feel one of two things: a psychopath or a genius. So lately I've had moments of feeling very intelligent, or very unstable---wonderful options if I do say so myself. I think I've passed on this gene to Noah. That kid asks me some pretty insane questions and I can see just where his mind is headed after I answer.

Why does God make some people think so dang differently than others? Ya ya ya, there's the whole bit about challenging one another and revealing new things/ideas/answers, but most of the time I think it's just frustrating. And no, I have no direction for this post whatsoever, so if you are searching, don't. For instance, there was recently some legislation that passed here that allows the Athiest Society to post ads in the city buses that read "You Can Be Good without God". Really? Now what are they hoping to gain by posting these signs? A bunch of people suddenly leaping for joy and saying "Phew! What a relief!"? I mean, I'm totally baffled by this. I think those of us that are true believers feel we really aren't capable of being good without God---because afterall, all good things come from Him. But the world of course is quick to believe that yes, naturally, you can be good without God. I know "good" people that have no relationship with God whatsoever---but that doesn't change the fact that He created them--and created them in His image. Anyhoo, just something I've been stewing over for the last 24 hours after reading the paper. Oh and to touch on that, there's the whole story of the guy in NC that was supposedly the nicest, wisest, most helpful neighbor around and turns out he was orchestrating some major terrorism plot. So maybe you can be "good" without God but not all good. And does any of his good really matter at all if he was planning on blowing multitudes of people up somewhere down the line?

I know, heavy stuff. And yet, right in the middle of these thought patterns I'm given a net by one of my sons and told I'm a princess and to put it on my head. So I do, and then I act like a 5 yr old and laugh and then boom---I'm back at the brain business. It. never. stops. I just wonder at what level of conscienceness God really intended us to be at. Why did he give us levels of thought, if you will? Why are deep thoughts considered to be usually darker, sadder, more serious, etc?

Anyway, totally not a pick-me-up post. But I do have one more recognizable "deep thinker" for ya to wrap up this odd segment. Closing thought, but Jack Handy:

"Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder. But not any man is
capable of being a good camper. So, murder and camping are not as similar as
you might think."

Backyard Campout

We went to the lake last weekend and saw all the people camping and it got our camping juices flowing. We are hoping to have our first "real" camping trip in the next month or two after we've purchased a few necessities. Until then.....................




....our backyard worked like a charm! The boys had the best time ever and Noah and Brian even slept all night in the tent. We had a crazy cold front come in and it dropped into the mid fifties. They stayed toasty in the tent and woke up with some great memories made. It was fun for Brian and I to see the tent up since it hasn't been since our ole married-no-kids days. Now we're all ready for the real thing sometime soon!

Summer Fun and 4th of July

We've spent a lot of time outside in July. The weather has been gorgeous and we have enjoyed God's creation so much. Oh! And Wesley threw away all his pacis!!! Just a random factoid I thought I'd share. :) It's been 2 weeks and he is doing great. He saw a pic today of him sucking on one and he got a little sad, but that's it. We're so proud of our growing boy. So here are some pics of July.
The boys pouring water on my feet. They are such good sports!



Best buddies, Drew, Wesley, Noah and Rachel.
Cuties at the park having a pow-wow.
The Spicers on the 4th of July.
Noah swimming confidently in his floaties on the lake.

The Highs

****I started writing this post on 7/7 and am determined to finish it tonight. I apologize for the ridiculous delay!

After working out in the garden (a new pumpkin patch plot I'm digging up) and getting sweaty and dirty and nasty, I would much rather sit back and look at a magazine or watch TV while the boys are still sleeping. HOWEVER, if I don't come back around and write my "highs" from our Texas roadtrip, I just may never do it. So here are some pics to complement my words.

First off, the road trip was fantastic. Really, it was. The boys were amazing---didn't flinch at being in the car that long. We stopped in Memphis for the night which is 7.5 hours from Bloomington. It was perfect timing as it was midnight TN time. Then the next day, we headed the final 6 hours to TX. Because all of the suggestions my amazing friends gave me on Facebook, I came prepared with so many things for the boys to do. However, they didn't even get into a lot of it because they were content to just be. They didn't even watch much TV which shocked me cuz I got a bunch of new stuff from the library.
This cross was HUGE!!


Next we got to my parents house and it was such a wonderful welcome. Unfortunately, I took no pics of the boys in the garden, or playing with Mee-ma and Papa which was such a bummer. I just can't believe I forgot. But here are the boys playing in Mee-ma's bath after a super sweaty Texas day.
On our way out of Tyler, we stopped at this awesome park/museum that is owned by Brookshires---a large grocery store chain there. Once again, I should have taken pics of this museum. It had real stuffed animals of all shapes and sizes from practically every continent. The boys were amazed. Then we went outside to the park where they have an old train and firetruck that you can climb on.




Then we went on to my sister Kasey's place which is in big D. We had a great time visiting with her and the boys of course savored their time with cousins, Connor and Payton.






We spent the next couple days visiting with our good friend's the Chapman's and the Ashlocks. The Ashlock's have been mentors to Brian and me in many ways and we miss them dearly. We had a blast being with them as they prepared to send their first daughter Amber off in marriage. Pics of that in a minute. Here are some pics of Noah, Taylor, Bubba (lil' David) and Wesley. They are the best of buds and we enjoyed thoroughly hangin' with Kristen and Dave just relaxin. Too bad I took pictures of no grownups!

The Woodwards are some of our best friends who we've traveled with on mission trips in the past. We had a nice splurge of a dinner at Morton's one night and then we visited later in the week again. Pitifully, the ONLY pic I took was this one of Amber reading to Carter and Wesley.
We spent a few days at my oldest sister, Kim's house. Noah and Wesley were in heaven having unlimited time with their cousins. I of course, loved watching them play and relaxing with my sisters. We also got to spend Father's Day all together with my dad and that was incredibly special. We don't know when the last time that happened---maybe 15 years or more!




We left my sisters and headed for a quick visit at the LST office. I loved seeing some of my old co-workers and catching up on all their happenings. It is almost impossible for me to believe it's been a year and a half since I've worked. Amazing how time has flown. But I am completely sure that God has me doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing----teaching, loving and caring for these 2 little rascals I call Noah and Wesley. :) We spent 2 nights with my good friend Stephanie and her 2 boys (her hubbie was out of town). It was so nice to catch up with her as I had not been very good at keeping in touch. The boys had a blast with her 2 little boys Jake and Cole. They spoiled us with all their neat toys as you will see below.




We closed our trip with the wedding of Amber Ashlock and Trevor Cates. It was a beautiful night and the wedding was perfect. We saw many familiar faces and the boys had so much fun. Noah kept saying, "I can't believe I'm at a wedding!" It was so cute. Here are couple pics of the wedding. Unfortunately I could never get a good pic of the boys. They looked so cute in these outfits Aunt Kasey bought them.

So there is FINALLY the summary of our trip. It has been 3 weeks since we got back and July is flying by. We loved our time in TX and even the road trip parts of it. It was nice to spend time together as a family even if it did feel weird being a "visitor" in TX. :) Thank you again to everyone who hosted us!! We love and miss all of our family in TX so much!