What can be learned from watching old home videos?

1. man our kids were cute.
2. how fast the time has gone by.
3. I looked so relaxed (although I don't remember really feeling that way).
4. how I miss TX
5. I would give anything to go back in time............
6. Noah has loved Wesley from the moment he laid eyes on him up until this very night.
7. man these boys were cute.
8. it hurts my heart a little to know that time is past and I can't get it back.
9. it makes me want to have another little baby in my arms, marveling at every new stage, and watching my family interact with them........(but only if I forget about all the work involved).
10. what an amazingly lucky girl I am to have these kids, this husband, these homes, these memories, this love.....poured down from heaven above.

Thankful Thursday

I have not been one to post regularly on Thursdays, but today I have so much to be thankful for (not just today, but you know what I mean). Kristen--you inspired me with your post, so here it goes:

1. The boys, a.k.a the little boys. Noah and Wesley have just been adding so much sweetness to my days I can hardly stand it. They are two peas in a pod and they adore eachother. I realize parenting has its ups and downs, but we are in a huge upswing right now and I'm so thankful. We've been enjoying our time at home this winter and I feel so content with being a stay at home mom.

2. Health. God has protected all of our immune systems for a incredibly long stretch and I'm quite convinced that is why I've enjoyed being at home this winter. When there is illness in our house, I am an anxious mess. But so far, no one has been sick this winter and it has allowed all of us to enjoy eachother day in and day out. Yes, the boys take vitamins, and I take vitamins (SuperMom) but I'm not so sure that is the ticket. Either way, being healthy is great and even if we had colds and flu and junk, I would still be thankful that we do not have any major illnesses/conditions in our family.

3. Brian's job. This is why I'm able to stay at home in the first place and I am thankful everyday for the hard work he puts in and the respectable company he works for. He had his annual review today and while I haven't heard all the details, he did say it went really well and he felt good. What a blessing! I often think how horrible it would be to be in his shoes and be responsible for so much, get up so early, travel so far, befriend "not so nice" people, etc. I try not to think that too much because I'm afraid I'll suddenly have to work. :) But, the bottom line is, he is so much better of a person to do what he does than I could ever dream to be. I'm proud of him and I'm so so so thankful.

4. TurboJam. What's that, right? Well, it's these silly exercise DVDs that my neighbor gave to me because she had 2 copies. They sat and sat for months till one day I decided to try them out. I love it! I feel healthier and more energetic and I can do them without ever getting in my car (I usually go to the Y to workout). Wow, that sounded like a total commercial! What a dork I am. We're going to FL in 3 weeks and I hope to have a better bathing suit bod by then. We shall see!

5. My home. It's feeling more home-y to me lately and I've had a lot of good moments this winter in it. Where I sit in the morning for my quiet time, where I read to Wesley in his room, where we play boardgames as a family...I'm thankful for all these spaces. We try to make it clear to Noah how special it is to have a safe, warm home and half the time, I think we're reminding me. I love our home, and I hope any of you outoftowner friends, will come bless me by staying in it!

That's a rap folks. Enjoy your Thursday!

Goals for the New Year!

You see I didn't call them resolutions because that word alone causes almost instant failure. Goals suit me better and with God's help, I will be making some big changes this year. These are things I feel the Holy Spirit and my own conscience have been telling me for a while that I need to work on. So here it goes! And I will admit, that I've already had MANY opportunities (being that it is the 12th day into the new year) to practice these....sometimes it is fun, sometimes I groan. :)

In no particular order:


1) Do not step (or run) away from new experiences.

2) Think of others more highly than myself.

3) Savor and take joy in each day as it really is all I have.

4) Love Brian in new and deeper ways.

5) Make less assumptions.

A few comments about these....
#2 and #5 have to do with my pride and self awareness. LOTS of work to do here, folks.
#1 and #3 target the introvert in me as well as the lazyass butt I can be.
#4 is a simple goal that I want to pursue with passion as I fill the role of "wife" for what will hopefully be decades and decades to come.

So far #1 & #2 are all up in my grill and it's becoming pretty obvious how much I need to work on these. It's also becoming obvious that in no way shape or form can I do this without God. I am NOT that good of a person. I actually like the reaffirmation of these challenges because it shows me that I didn't really come up with this list---the Holy Spirit did.

I would love to hear of any goals you might have set for yourself this year. I have NEVER ever set New Year's goals/resolutions and taken them the least bit seriously, so don't feel like you have to earn your keep here. Even if you just have one thing you'd love to accomplish this year, I wanna hear it. Go on, Kristen, give me your list. :)

Simply Pathetic

Me, that is. I cannot believe I have been so TERRIBLE about blogging the last several months. I won't deny it. That's one thing I can't stand is when blogs I read go MIA for months and then all of a sudden they will post a random post with photos and make no mention of their absence. That makes me think I can only expect to wait weeks/months till their next post! Well, folks, have no fear. I won't do that to you. I know I've been awful and Lord willing, I will quit letting Facebook appease my need-comments-fast weakness and become a devoted blogger again.

So! Where to begin? I don't really feel like diving into a topic I'm excited to write about yet, so instead I'll do a kind of update.

Brian and I celebrated 10 years last month. 10. Wow. That's a lot of years. And I'm not kidding when I say I feel like we were just married. Not in that gushy mushy kind of way. In the I-seriously-just-graduated-from-college-and-all-details-of-our-wedding-are-crystal-clear-like-yesterday kind of way. I've been in this haze lately evaluating life, our life, my life, and where it's headed. Realizing I have been married 10 years makes me think about what we've accomplished in those 10 years and what I can expect from the next 10. For a few weeks I really thought I might be having a mid-life crisis at 31. Is that possible? I just seem to be questioning everything. Almost like a narcissistic 20 yr old that spends her days with her head in the clouds feeling serious about everything. Ever been there? I hope I'm not the only one. That's one of the many things I love about Brian. No matter what planet I'm on, what trend I'm following, what scary opinion I throw at him, what emotional meltdown I'm having (which he often doesn't know about), he remains the same. Other than God, he is the most constant and unwavering thing in my life. He is the same guy I fell in love with. I'm not so sure I'm the same as when he fell in love with me. But he loves me none the less. And he is what keeps me grounded. So I am thrilled to celebrate 10 years with Brian. I'm blessed. And I have a feeling God has many surprises in store for us in the near future. I have faith He's going to do some amazing things in our family.

Alrighty, on to Christmas. We spent Christmas in Texas this year. However, the weather fairies decided to play a cruel joke and take Midwest weather and throw it on the south. SO, we spent Christmas eve and early Christmas morning in Memphis due to a snow storm that hit Dallas. :(
Fortunately, we had our Christmas with the boys days earlier so there was no Santa or stockings that they expected on the "real" Dec. 25th. I think I would have sobbed if that were the case. I would tell you all the pitiful details of our experience with Northwest/Delta but it just isn't worth it. Ok I will endulge you with this little snippet: the cherry on top of our travel experience was once back at home in IN, receiving my suitcase off of the luggage spindle literally ripped open with my stuff hanging out. Not unzipped mind you, ripped. Threads everywhere. Bent up, battered and bruised. And when I took it to the Delta office 15 ft away, the lady (who most certainly had a bad day) ripped my head off and told me that it was my fault for having too bulky of an outside pocket and I shouldn't have packed it the way I did. I sat there tongue-tied and utterly confused at her response to my pathetic looking bag. THAT, my friends, is why Delta is getting a big fat letter from my said amazing husband who happens to be a silver medallion member or whatever the heck they call it. :) Okay, enough of that story.

Our time in TX was good. Seeing family and friends is always awesome. The highlight though, was going to our old church. God is truly in that place because everytime I am there, I want to ball my eyes out and never leave. So many incredible people and families that we have walked through life's hardest times with. The way all different generations of people go running up to my kids and pick them up. The treat we were in for, though, was to see the transformation of a life very near and dear to us. God saved it for us on the one Sunday we'd be there and it was simply amazing. It changed my heart for the entire trip (and beyond). God is so very good. His power never ceases.

This is sadly getting way too long and for fear of you clicking that X in the right hand corner, I will end this. But I have so much to pour out and hopefully will be disciplined enough to do it in the coming days and weeks. Happy New Year to all my friends out there! Stay tuned......

Moving on........

Well, just moments ago, Wesley's crib is out of this house, the bedding back in original packages, and the diaper genie in the garage. We've rearranged his room and while he only has a toddler bed for now, and we're still using the changing table for toy storage, it definitely looks different. Wesley took part in dismantling the crib and even after there was no sign of it left, he walked in his room, sat on his t-bed and said, "Hey, where's my crib???" :) We had a feeling he would eventually catch on.

Yes, many of you might remember my post in August about putting the toddler bed up and you probably assumed the crib was long gone. Well, it wasn't. Wesley much preferred the crib, and well, we just didn't care, so we let the whole thing slide. But today was the day to finally say goodbye. And that crib has been used for 10 years straight, so it really is GONE. It had no ummf left in it, so it's days of slumbering with my children are over.

It felt good to take everything down. I'll admit it. And that's all I'm going to say about it for now. :)

What a great Thanksgiving!

We just said goodbye to the last 2 of our 7 guests here for Thanksgiving. Bri's family came in town for a week and there were 11 of us stuffed into our house. Phew! But it turned out so awesome. I couldn't be more pleased with how things went, the weather, the food, the kids' behavior, etc. God was with all of us and we were all able to really enjoy eachother's company. What a gift. I have not hosted a holiday since Noah was 1. And before that, I never did. So this was only my second time to host a holiday. I loved it! I am always blessed by everyone else's hospitality so it felt good to give back. Now if I could only get my whole family to come up! (13 might be a little over the top) :) Here are a few pics of our time together. I'll post more once I get them from my SIL. I hope you all had a great turkey day and felt a new level of thankfulness this year!

Hi Ho, Hi Ho............

*****Yep, I wrote this a couple weeks ago and never posted it. What a great representation of my life right now! Well, I'm about to post about Thanksgiving, so I figured I'd better finish this and get it up here. Thanks for your patience. :)

Ya, I realize I don't officially "work", but I feel like it this week. I'm not one to get very stressed around the holidays. I'm serious, I don't! I love the flurry of activity and the family visits involved. However, in complete honesty here, I realized Sunday morning, as I was leisurely sipping my coffee that I had been miscalculating that I had 2 weeks left till family got here. As this hit me like a brick, I gingerly walked over to my calendar and hoped my eyes wouldn't see what my brain just figured out. Yep. Sure enough, it was one week exactly till the inlaws came (7 family members). Oh crap.

So that whole bit about not being stressed during the holidays went flying out the window. Not only am I hosting Thanksgiving for 11 of us (and yes, 7 houseguests for a week), but we're also celebrating our Christmas together which means presents need to be bought and wrapped. Now, because I'm so on top of it, I had already bought most of the presents. :) But the whole idea of grocery shopping, planning and cleaning the WHOLE HOUSE in one week was a bit much. Plus, Noah has all these preschooly activities this week (including being STAR of the week!) and it's also the last week of our women's Bible study at church that I'm helping lead a small group. Throw into this pot the fact that Brian and I decided to join this crazy training program called CrossFit and you have a bunch of stuff piled on top of me. Lord, help!

All of these things are good things. Blessings! And for that reason sometimes I want to just say, oh well, what will be, will be. Do you ever do that? But ultimately, I want this to be a fantastic Thanksgiving and I want our home and company to be a blessing to all of this family. It'll be a lot of fun---assuming we stay healthy. I know every mom out there is praying for good health this holiday season. Am I the only one that feels like EVERYONE is sick all around me??? What a weird fall/winter this is turning out to be.

However, one of the brightest spots is that I was able to get away with my very best friend, Emily, a couple weekends ago. We soaked up all the goodness Boulder, CO had to offer and boy was it awesome. I keep thinking it had to be a dream, because it came and went so quickly. She is preparing for her 3rd child, so it was probably an even sweeter respite for her. The weekend can be summed up with three words: talking and eating. With the exception of sleep, we did not stop talking from the moment we greeted at the airport till we parted ways at the airport to return home. A funny thing about sleep---while we took naps both days, we kept waking up REALLY early and agreed we got less sleep for sure than if we had been at home. But it was worth it. Here are some pics of our weekend: (we only got one picture of ourselves together!!)

I can't make you love me..........

The Bonnie Rait song is playing through my mind right now. I used to LOVE that song in my weepy teenage years and would dramatically play it over and over in my bedroom. Anyone else love that song?

Anyway, this morning I was reading my Bible and I read the passage "Be still and know that I am God. " I decided to be still and start praying. :) In my head, I uttered the words "Make me love you more, Lord." And almost immediately I felt Him saying, "I cannot make you love me". I realized the obsurdity of my statement. It goes against his nature to make me love him. I thought to myself, 'then how can I learn to love him more?' I remembered something I learned after being a mother one time around with Noah. I stupidly tried to make Noah sleep---something he tried with every ounce of his being not to do. When Wesley came around, the wisdom appeared that I couldn't make Wesley sleep. I could only give him opportunities to sleep. He would have to do the rest. And obviously, after awhile, he learned to sleep when I gave him those opportunities. God brought that to mind, I think, to tell me that he is constantly giving me opportunities to love Him more. Whether I notice them and take advantage is completely up to me.

Very rarely do I feel these clear lessons appear mentally while praying. So I hope me putting it to paper (or computer screen) helps you in some way in your desire to love God more. I believe one easy way is to find the wonder of his creation===especially here at fall time. So pretty! Please leave a comment if there is something that helps you in your journey to love God more.

I'm here, I'm here!

I simply couldn't think of a creative title, so there you go. :) The Spicers are still here. Kickin' along. It's mid-October and the cool weather has swept in and left everyone a bit unprepared. But the trees are GORGEOUS and I've got to get myself out there to take some pictures. Our friend Paul Begin from childhood and Pepp is coming for a visit this weekend. We're very excited. He has had a rough year and we're so glad we get him for a couple days. I really love having visitors. I feel like I'm in my element when I'm getting ready for guests. I love cooking for people and through observations I've taken from other hospitable friends, I've learned ways to (hopefully) make people feel at home and comfortable. So please if you are ever in need of a little vaca, please come see me! :)

Let's see, how are we doing? We have much to be thankful for. Noah is having a great year so far at preschool. His teacher tells me wonderful things about him and he's learning so much every week. Noah is really into numbers and drawing. I would say those 2 things make up his study time. He can play on a calculator for an hour and recite various addition equations all day long. Now, doesn't that make the financial dork in me proud?! Would you believe the other day he said, "Mom, like, what are we going to DO in heaven???" And of course, being the not-so-short-with-words person I am, I started to remind him of the garden....and how Adam and Eve didn't have to work till they sinned....and so chances are we won't have to do any kind of "work" in heaven, etc etc. Well, Noah didn't sound very pleased and he said, "Well, I'm SURE they will atleast have calculators for me to work on up there!" Yes, dear, I'm sure they will. :) Noah is also doing Upwards soccer and LOVES IT. We love it to. Definitely a fun sport to cheer him on in!

Wesley. Now where do I begin with him? I'm head over heels in love with him. I mean it. I cannot stop kissing him and smelling him and loving on him all.day.long. He is absolutely adorable in everyway (aren't I humble?) and makes me laugh all the time. He's very bright and comes up with the most amazing statements. He has picked up a lot of slang and that's particularly funny. He still loves books and puzzles. He likes diddling around by himself but also adores playing with Noah. He was sick all last week, so of course I'm thrilled to have my little energy bug back in action.

Brian is doing well. He's super busy at work and continues to travel but I never cease to be amazed at his bright ideas and success, professionally. He'll actually be home for the next few weeks which is an unusual blessing this time of year!

I am keeping busy. I help lead a small group at my Friday morning Bible study. That is going well and I've met some really awesome people this year. Between cleaning, playing, and driving hither and yon I seem to stay pretty occupied. I will be going on a "girls" weekend with my best friend (and college roommate) here in the next few weeks and I'm really starting to get excited. It seems inconceivable that we will have eachother's undivided attention for 3 days (not to mention surrounded by gorgeous scenery). God has blessed my life with a husband who was eager to let me do this. After that we have family visiting for turkey day and then more family to go visit for Christmas. Many a good thing in store this fall/winter!

I made my first of apple and pumpkin pies this fall!! It has been so fun buying more local produce. We even bought eggs, cheese, and sausage from local farms lately. Man. cheese from a local farm is TONS tastier than the Kroger cheese I've been buying for years. Too bad I had to drive 40 minutes to get it. :)

Okay, signing off for now. Gotta go get ready to pick Paul up from the airport!

This can't be the beginning...........

Sorry folks, this will seem like a doom and gloom post which I try to keep from writing much. But I'm in that kind of mood today. Our weather got cold this week. lows in the 40s, highs in the 50s. Almost 48 hrs after this started, both boys got stuffy. Now today Wesley has a fever. We were inside almost all day. This can't be the beginning. It can't. I'm simply not ready or mentally prepared to begin the days of 'Oh crap! Shut the door before the air bites off my face' yet. Now me being the dramatic person that I am must warn you that it will be getting back to 70 or so this week with lows in the 50's. So all hope is not lost. But it was really gloomy today and the sun didn't show and I just felt ick. Plus, the minute one of my kids gets a fever, it is. just.terrible. I feel like we're trapped in a closet. Now Wesley was acting mostly happy and normal today, so it should be no big deal right? But this is the season Bri travels a lot and the whole no warm sun thing coupled with any illness is pretty much my worse form of torture. This is when I long for family. I can beat down the door of any family member regardless of sickness usually and most definitely when I'm a loner. Then I don't feel like I'm in a closet, I feel like the old days of being a family and growing up together. We were always around eachother sick and it was no biggie. Which I could write a whole post right now on having these weird feelings of wanting to be a little girl again and having my old family back, etc etc, but I won't. It's depressing, slightly weird, and simply not gonna happen. Don't tell me you haven't ever thought that, because I don't want to hear it. I might just tell you that you're lying. :) And yes, I LOVE my family and my kids and my husband and we are jolly and I wouldn't trade them for a minute. So there is nothing to worry about if you are one to worry.

Two of my best friends in TX have delivered babies lately and so this could be part of realizing how absent I am from the life I knew for so long. I have one friend here who had a baby recently but that's it. Most of my friends are done having kids and so there is none of that to be a part of. Also, there are moments when I realize it's getting a little foggier for Noah to remember things about our life in TX and how pretty soon here, Indiana will be the bulk of his background.

Do you see what ONE MEASLY DAY of bad weather does to this girl??????!!!??? So leave comments that make me laugh or remind me of a memory with you or that tell me you are sending me lots of presents in the mail. Any of those will help. :) Hopefully tomorrow, being Sunday, and being "my favorite day of the week" as my Dad always told me will turn this mood around. I'll let ya know..........