Top 12 realizations of last week

**Apparently I couldn't count and numbered these wrong, so now it is fixed. :)


1. Brian traveling is no fun for anyone.

2. The hope of a vacation is enough to get me through the week, month, and year.

3. I do some crazy things when I'm feeling lonely.

4. Getting our first pet is a big deal (see #3). More exciting than I had anticipated.

5. Losing 2 fish in one week had a much larger emotional impact on me than I would have ever guessed. (see #4)

6. Seeing parts of my garden die had a much larger emotional impact on me than I would have ever guessed.

7. Knowing a marriage close to us is dying has got my brain fried and my heart deflated. Between #5, #6, #7, I really wrestle with things I cannot understand and can't control.

8. Time with a good friend is like a balm on cracked feet. (don't you love that I used such a gross example??? Ewwww, I can't believe I just typed that)

9. Forced independence is a scary thing in marriage. It's very difficult to go back to being partially dependent, but extremely necessary.

10. I am a much nicer mommy when the house is clean.

11. I am completely head over heels for Wesley. I feel like every minute I'm wishing I was videotaping him. (and before you think too much about this, I gave Noah his proper adoration when he was this age too. :)

12. The hope of a vacation is enough to get me through the week, month, and year.

5 things that made me smile today

1. The artwork the kids and I came up with for Earth day. I didn't take a picture but I really should. It's beautiful.

2. Playing catch with Noah gearing up for Saturday's first day of baseball. After throwing Noah some balls to hit and him smacking one very far, he said, "See, why do I need to catch? What difference does it make?" I think he honestly thinks hitting is really the only part to baseball.

3. Matt not being in the bottom 3 on American Idol. Brian and I have loved him from the start.

4. Noah saying, "I just love that God made me a brother exactly how I want." And I probed a little further and he said, "Wesley is just so cute and I'm so glad God made him that way. I love him so much."

5. Doing an exercise video that my neighbor gave me. Noah was so excited to try it out. He was no joke---intensely focused for 15 minutes doing all the moves (boxing, kicking, dancing). We had to turn it off cuz Wesley was very needy. Noah said he was tired. I said, "I'm sure you are. You didn't take a nap today and it's already after 7." He said, "No, Mom. It was all those moves on the video. I worked hard."

6. And to be fair to Wesley, I have to throw in a 6th:
Kissing Wesley's lips and smelling his still sweet breath. He hasn't gotten "real breath" yet and I'm sooooo thankful. His lips and cheeks are the softest ever and I'm serious ya'll, I cannot stop kissing them. Even when he's being a super bad boy and crying in my face. I have to kiss him.

It's Earth Month!!

In honor of Earth Month and Day (April 22), I will provide you with 2 things:

-practices I've adopted within the last year that help our environment

-considerably MORE practices that a woman in NY has adopted to help her family and the environment. She writes a blog I've read for a long time and while she may seem a bit out there, a lot of what she says is definitely worth pondering.

So first off, Frugal Upstate's list of things she's turned from trash into treasure:

1) I have a milk jug in my pantry filled up with red lentils I bought in bulk. (much easier to use than a bag-I can just pour them into a measuring cup) I also have mung beans in a cleaned glass pickle jar, and cornstarch, cornmeal baking soda and salt in old washed out Parmesan cheese containers (the plastic kind).

2) I use one of those nice plastic Folgers cans with the hand grip to scatter rock salt on the walkway and stairs in the winter (I cut a half moon out of the lid).

3) I have a stack of yogurt lids that I use for coffee spoon rests in the morning near the coffee pot, and 2 larger lids I've kept as additional spoon rests when needed.

4) I use a pretty round tin that had sugar cookies in it as my cookie jar on the counter.

5) I cut cereal bag liners (the thick wax paper) into circles that fit my cookie jar tin to separate layers of cookies.

6) I use a yogurt cup in my sugar jar, whole wheat flour jar and rice bag as a scoop (that way I can just leave it there).

7) I keep a few bread bags and shredded cheese bags (w/zipper) to use for breading things (just throw the breading and meat etc in and shake, then throw out when done) also save them to use for nasty stuff going in the garbage so it doesn't smell as much. I try to be careful and just keep 2 or 3 of each so they don’t take over my kitchen.

8) I have coffee can on the counter for compost scraps.

9) I have a clean, empty ketchup bottle that I use to squirt pancake batter onto the griddle when I make mini pancakes for the kids.

10) I use a cottage cheese or yogurt container (large size) in the freezer to keep my leftover bits and pieces for "stone soup"

11) I have started cutting squares for a jean quilt from old jeans. I am saving back pockets to make purses, and keeping the zippers and the "name brand tags" for future projects. I made a cardboard template for the square made from an old box, and have all the squares in a shoe box (will probably take a couple of boxes before I have enough to make “buddy”’s quilt).

12) I always keep scrap paper w/ one good side for printing on (also have dh get extra from the office) and smaller paper is cut into squares for phone messages etc.

13) I have been saving vinegar jugs and milk jugs for winter sowing containers.

14) Of course I keep plastic grocery bags for trashcan liners, transporting stuff in the car, and using at Aldi’s/Save-a-Lot etc.

15) I some-what embarrass my husband by washing and reusing ziplock bags.

16) I have been keeping glass jars with lids to use for canning jelly in the fall. They are non standard sizes and canning lids & rings won't fit-I will use paraffin wax to seal instead. This keeps the jars out of the recycle bin and saves the “good” jars for things that cannot be sealed with paraffin.

17) We recycle-so I have separate bins for cans, glass, plastic and paper. So if I'm not using it at least it gets recycled. I can always grab a container out of their to pour grease in etc if something needs to get thrown out. The kids also love to grab out plastic cans and tubs to use when playing in the dirt pile.

Now my list --considerably shorter, but heartfelt nonetheless! :)

1. Stopped using paper plates and paper napkins (GASP!). I cannot tell you how much this affected our trash can, in a good way, and we love the fact that cloth napkins (the bazillion we registered for for our wedding) work worlds better than paper napkins. (please note: after 9 months this transition has not been easy so no heads held high over here. Especially when we have families visit, it gets even more inconvenient. But I'm really glad we are doing it and over time I think it will be completely normal.)

2. Started a compost bin. Bought it from Sam's Club for $39. It's called the Soilsaver 2000 or something funny like that. Now we have even less trash in our trash can since all fruit, veggie and coffee scraps get thrown in the black beast out back. I'm eager to see later in the summer the succulent compost soil that the beast is supposedly going to produce. :)

3. Planting a garden. I know, I know. I keep promising pictures and this weekend I will indeed have them. But just about everyone here in Bloomington has their own garden of differing size and you can't help get the itch to produce some of your own fruits and veggies for your family. Eat better, eat cleaner, eat locally. Kinda the theme I keep hearing in the media. We'll see if the good Lord blesses my garden enough to actually survive---I am a total newbie to gardening and have never had success growing anything. Status updates soon!

Happy Earth Day friends! I'd love to hear what you might be doing also. Especially any easy, non intimidating tips. :)

Top 10 things I may or may not be embarrassed about.

So I guess based on how well you know me you can guess whether I am embarrassed or not. :) Some of these go against natural inclination, so just ask. I'll be honest. Ha!

1. I do not follow fashion rules. 75% of my closet is 10 years old. Unlike some things, this is not an exaggeration.

2. Noah talking about his male anatomy---especially when we discuss growth spurts. Ummmmm, ya.

3. The fact that I know very little about The economic stimulus package.

4. My own children crying in public and having to spank them.

5. Getting up to the checkout with a full cart of groceries that have already been scanned and bagged and realizing I didn't have my wallet. On top of that, I realized I was in a 15 items or less lane....with many people waiting. Can anyone say, "You've Got Mail"???? "Happy Thanksgibbing back".

6. After hearing a short preview of our lesson on Esther this past Sunday in class, asking publicly which book we needed to turn to. Maybe extremely red face would give a clue here. And I promise I'm never this retarded.

7. I do not know where all the states are located if you asked me. I'm getting better though.

8. I will lie awake at night and think about how the drive-thru lady at Steak and Shake (for lunch) charged me incorrectly and how in the world did she come up with that $ figure? We're talking pennies, folks. But my mind. will. not. rest.

9. If a friend got a new haircut, dye job, or something drastic, and I don't think it looks right, I probably will pretend I don't notice. This entire situation makes me feel extremely awkward. But lying to someone about how I feel makes me even more uncomfortable. The torture....

10. I do not like talking on the phone, really. Calling someone I don't know, or know very little, or haven't talked to in a long time is pretty much up there with walking naked in public. So if you happen to be in my select group that I enjoy talking to on the phone, please feel special. :) I'm a work in progress.

Top 10 favorite snacks

I'm going to start a top 10 series. They will cover all different things, but if you know me well, it is fitting I should start with favorite snacks. So here it goes.....

1. Tortilla Chips With an Identity Crisis from Trader Joes (and yes, I drive an hour and 15 min to obtain these jewels). They are part brown rice, part potato, and part corn. Utter deliciousness.

2. Soy and Flaxseed Tortilla chips from Trader Joes. Don't even try to knock em' till you've tried them. They are soooooooooo yummy (you would never know they are semi-healthy).

3. Would it surprise anyone that after the previous two, I would say guacamole for #3? And to be more specific, my husband's special guacamole. I will also stick salsa in here because truthfully, we don't have guac that often. But I do eat chips and salsa just about every single day.

4. Fruit leathers. Archer Farms fruit leathers from Target are fabulous, and they are even organic. Added bonus. The Pomegranate-Cranberry ones are my favorite.

5. Cashews. This is a new one--I mean in the last year. I have NEVER eaten cashews in my life. Mostly just almonds, but man, I'm really diggin' on these things lately. And my whole family digs them too!

6. Apples, preferably Gala apples. I went through a phase before children when I ate an apple every single day at work. They were a staple. I left that phase for many years and find myself now almost there again. The boys cannot get enough apples so it keeps me buying them and hence makes me realize how much I love them.

7. FiberOne bars. I can't even believe they give you 1/3 of your daily fiber and still taste so fabulous. I've now tried the peanut butter, caramel, chocolate and the new strawberry. I think the caramel and chocolate are my faves. They really do taste like a candy bar.

8. String cheese. I know, it's completely a juvenile thing to love. In fact, this is another "new" fave and probably the only time in my entire life I've bought them. But peeling them never gets old and it totally makes it last longer (even if I do eat 2 at a time). LOL I really do love cheese.

9. Here's where it gets a little general. Anything salty. No lie, salt is my weakness. Chips, popcorn, crackers, bring it. I'll devour 10 handfuls of different things before I acknowledge that I've had enough to qualify as a "snack".

10. Diet Coke. Ok, to be fair to myself, I drink less DC now than I have ever in my life. I mostly only drink it at fast food restaurants and occasionally at sitdowns. I don't even regularly keep it in my fridge. HOWEVER, it is definitely a snack in my book because it makes me feel all giddy and excited once I know I'm going to have some and I trick myself into believing it'll give me an added energy boost during crunch time. I don't know why it makes me feel special but if you are a DC junkie, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Zero calories but pure bliss.

Alright, well, thanks for humoring me and making me think you actually care about my favorite snacks. Stop by any afternoon and I promise to share atleast one of these with you. :)

I Am.........

copying this from my friend Cindy.

infatuated with my growing seedlings. All 144 of them to be exact. I can't wait to take some pictures and show you their progress.

fulfilled with how much time we spent at the library and park today. I LOVE the things this town has to offer young families.

excited about the two chance encounters I had at the park today with 2 new budding friendships.

anticipating some glorious vacation time with Brian in the coming months. One vacation with the whole fam, the other to celebrate 10 glorious years as man and wife....alone. :)

relieved Wesley slept almost the whole night through last night and did not run a fever all day today. Praise God.

missing friends and family from Texas. This reality sets in usually when we are out to eat. We used to go out with friends all the time. It just sucks to feel lonely....even if it only lasts an hour.

so proud of Noah. He continues to amaze me with his thoughts on God. God truly is his hero and if he could, he'd brag about Him all day long. Lord, please let that never go away.

smitten by Wesley. I cannot physically give enough kisses or snuggles to that kid. Same goes for Noah.

needing lots of scheduled play dates in April. I will be a single parent for a good part of the month. Please help! :)

looking forward to Bri's family coming in town for Easter. We'll have one big Easter egg hunt with all the kiddos (5 total), grub on ham, and show them around "our" town. Fun stuff.

Now you!

A Poignant Reminder

I'm not even sure how to write this post and how to capture all my emotions and thoughts in a concise way. But it's a must that I post. Bottom line, I haven't truly shared my faith in a real way in a loooooooooong time. It just so happens I guess that most everyone I hang out with is a Christian or up to date on the whole "faith thing" and so the proper conditions for a true 'this is what I believe and why I believe it' kind of session has not taken form.
However, in my past mission work, you could have heard me say that when I was truly sharing my faith, one on one, with another person, I felt the truest completeness of my existence. I've heard many others say the same. You suddenly realize this is what God created us for---to share His love and the story of His love in our lives-- with others. Nothing can take the place of that feeling. Nothing can replicate it.
So there have been moments when I've definitely thought about the fact that months and years have gone by in my life where I have not had an a-to-z rundown with someone on my faith, my story, my Jesus. I mean, the nitty gritty declaration where it is raw, and vulnerable, and scary. But at the same time exhilirating. And it's only raw and vulnerable and scary because you realize how important what your talking about is. You want God to be glorified and the listener to be receptive. But you also realize that we do not grow the seed. We merely plant it and God, the grandest Gardener of them all, does the rest. Well, I had one of those seed planting sessions last night. And while it was unexpected, it shouldn't have been because I prayed in advance of this outing that God would be there with me and it would go well. So I praise Him right now for answering my prayer in such a real way.
I think the part that leaves me so convicted and so awestruck is that once again, the idea that we can "earn" our salvation and "do" enough good deeds to get to Heaven is alive and well in our world. But the question I posed to this thinking was, "then why did Jesus need to die (and rise again)? What was the purpose of that if we can essentially get to heaven on our own?"--because the person I was talking with believed Jesus came and lived and died and rose. The question went unanswered because she admitted she had never really been asked that question or thought it through. But she wanted to give it some time to think it over.
The root of a works-based salvation can have one of two explanations. I would say pride is the first one--"grace just can't be a "free" gift! You have to be worthy. We must earn it."
The second is wanting to get to heaven without going through Jesus. Or maybe wanting someone else to get to heaven---knowing they are such a "good" person but knowing they don't "believe" all the right Christian things. Both of these are completely understandable lines of thinking and I probably possessed them at different moments in my life. But ultimately I now know they were never in God's plan. He created us, He knows us better than anyone---what we are not capable of, and what we need in order to be in relationship with Him. We need Jesus. I realize this everyday but of course there are many times when I think I'm doing mighty fine on my own. I think I'm pretty holy. Pretty "spiritual". Last night was a quick reminder that nothing holds a candle to Jesus. Nothing can even compare to what He sacrificed for me...FOR me. Explaining to someone else that I don't think we can earn our salvation simply reminded me how easy it is to let that subtle thinking in--even for Christians.
So I feel like I'm still going through a bit of an adrenaline rush and realizing divine moments were exchanged last night. Of course it made me realize there are so many things I don't "know" in order to "prove" Jesus, our Savior. It made me want to brush up on various historical details and other views out there. But before all that I'm so thankful God gave me His stamp on my heart. The transformation He did on my life that will never be taken away and ultimately is my example of His love and promises. I realize without a true relationship with Jesus, faith has to be so difficult. I'm not even sure I would be a Christian if I wasn't in a relationship with God because I'm not sure it could ever be real enough to me.

So anyway, there are my thoughts. I had to get this down on paper (virtual). Lord, don't let me forget how sharing You with others is a priceless function you created us for.

Menu Plan Monday 3-23

Happy Birthday Kimmy! My oldest sissy is 36 today!! Wowee, you are getting old girl. :) I remember when we were all in our 20's and oh how I looooooved that decade. And then when I finally turned 30 it was a shocking reality to us all (and especially my parents) that they no longer had children in their 20's. The 20's seem to last forever. And oddly, the 30's seem to move so quickly. Well, anyway, I love you Kimberlee very very much and hope you have the best day ever!

Now, on to the ever-so-important menu plan. hardy har har. I haven't done this in awhile and I guess I could say that for consistent blog posting. I've just had kind of a computer lull. Anyway, my boys will probably wake up any minute but I'm going to attempt a post anyway!

Meal #1 Lasagna, french baguette, spinach salad
Meal #2 Shredded beef burritos, beans
Meal #3 Tilapia, veggies, and potatoes/or rice
Meal #4 Pizza, salad
Meal #5 breakfast for dinner
Meal #6 Leftovers
Meal #7 Go out

We're all doing just fine in case you were wondering. Brian was sick all weekend with a category 5 cold. Noah woke up this morning and has been toying with catching it. We loooooved the last two nights of weather. Eating dinner on our screened in porch is like paradise to us. Oh! I planted 142 seeds! Yep, 142. So in the coming 2 weeks I will be preparing my garden/s in the backyard and attempting to transplant these seedlings. I cannot WAIT! I have been wanting my own garden for sooo long and my pesky ole dad won't teach me his tricks of the trade. Not to mention I have two little ones keeping me busy and so I had kind of hung up that dream till they were in school. But after my friend Kristina down the street inspired me, I realized it CAN be done! So I'll keep you posted on my progress. We have been ambushed by moles the last week or so and so our plan is to get "rid" of them before I have to plot out my garden. Dude, have you ever really looked at a picture of a mole anyway???? They are SO GROSS!! I went to buy some mole killer at the hardware store and the picture on the bottle about scared my pants off. Their claws are monstrous! I really hope if and when they die, they just disappear because I have no desire to see them with my own eyes. Ewe.

Alright, better get off my duff before the wailing ensues. Wesley never wakes up happy. Ever. More posting soon!

Things that make me smile...........

1. My sweet boys snuggling.









































2. My new dining room that I painted by myself this past weekend while Brian was away. I'm amazing.


P.S. actually, God was blessing me with very unusually loooooong nap times by the boys. That was crucial to the overall project. And the whole thing was to surprise Brian!




























3. Saving money...specifically saving more than I spent.













4. This video of my kids.

From March 2009

5. Dreaming of a vacation to a far away place where it's just me and Brian and the sun.

Confessions of a Thinkaholic

I just returned from a whirlwind trip to TX to see my parents. My amazing husband let me go despite the fact that it required a decent amount of money as well as him taking a day off of work to stay home with Noah. Thank you honey! He never ceases to amaze me. Anyway, we were on Texas soil for a total of 2 days and 18 hours. I was in the car for 5.5 of those hours which was fine, but it definitely made the trip feel even shorter. Wesley did amazing and brought joy to everyone he saw. He's at that awesome age where he is still free (on an airplane) and kind of clueless when it comes to seeing 5 different families in such a short amount of time. I loved having some time with my parents and just taking a break from parenting 2 children. It's no secret that Noah has been trying lately so it was perfect that he got to have special time with Daddy.
One thing that might have made the trip even more pleasant is if my dog gone frontal lobe could just STOP processing thoughts for a time. Do you ever feel like you are thinking while everyone else is enjoying the simple things happening in each moment? As my post is titled, I believe I'm a thinkaholic. The obvious problem with that is there is no group to go to or 3 step program to kick the addiction. And how does one even become this way anyway??? I would love your thoughts. :) ha ha No seriously, though, I wish I could tell you I come up with the most splendid inventions or ideas, organizational plans, money making schemes, ministry brilliance, or new philanthropic approaches to my life. My thinking probably grazes all those topics but never with any significant result. No, mostly I think about theories, pointless daydreams, philosophical nonsense, problem-solving (with things that aren't my problems) and hypothetical happenings. Oh, and I play old conversations through my head and try to analyze what the other people were thinking when they said those words; what their motives were, and give them an overall character evaluation. I'm a mess---truly. So you can only imagine with a mind like mine what happens when I'm sitting on a plane for 2 hours and Wesley is asleep in my arms and I have no hands to read a magazine or grab my Ipod. All I can do is look around or stare at my tray table and think. Or I'm driving to Tyler, TX in a van with my parents and no music (seriously, who on earth drives long car drives with no music?????). Or I'm driving from Tyler, TX to where I used to live looking at all the establishments that are not mine to frequent anymore or passing business or homes that contain people I can't visit anymore or say hello to. Or I'm staring at the brut of a gate attendant on AirTran Airways that tells me I can't bring my infant's car seat on the plane unless I paid for his seat. WHATEVER. Okay, so that last example really doesn't apply to what I was saying but I did want to wack her over the head with my backpack. :)
I just wish my thinking was more productive. Instead it usually leaves me foggy and discontent. I might enjoy the little moments and little things if my mind would just take a break! Well, my eldest son needs to be read to before bed, so I'm gonna go do that. But I'm sure after that I'll spend some quality time thinking about my trip to TX---how I felt about it, what it lacked, the people I saw, the people I didn't get to see, how it compares to IN, etc, etc. Oh, and I've already thought about all those things, just so you know. But a thinkaholic never stops. Repetition is no match for this brain. In fact, it thrives on it. So if you have an idea for how to channel all this thinking in some ultra-productive way, drop me a line. And I'll think about it.